Howdy managers - just a reminder that only the top 6 of 14 teams will make the playoffs this year - every game is important and tie-breakers are based on points! Make sure you guys field the best team possible each week and run up the score as much as possible - you don't want to miss the playoffs based on points.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** Brown's Backups (Josh) DEF RN to the Rescue (Megan) by 1.42 points **
RN to the Rescue was completely and utterly hosed by the Miami defense (3.54), which undercut performances from Vince Young (QB - Ten / 16.59) and Zach Miller (TE - Oak / 14.85). RN almost took the week, but BB had three players in double-digits. It brings me a great deal of joy to report that Jay Cutler (QB - Chi / -0.80) had an awful week against a very strong New York Giants defense. Next week BB (3-1) will battle undefeated Sobchak Security (4-0) and RN (1-3) will try to get back on track against new neighbor Undefeated (3-1) .
** Play to Win the Game (Jeff) DEF Two Hand Touch (Rex) by 2.04 points **
About 10 years ago, I was at a barbecue in Three Points thrown by Kerri's uncle. Kerri and I had just started dating a couple of weeks before and I wanted to make a good impression. I was sitting on the edge of the pool (in street clothes, mind you) when suddenly, Rex comes up and pushes me in. I knew that maybe it would take a year, maybe 5 years, or maybe 10 - but that I would beat that sonofabitch in Fantasy Football in a pivotal week 4 matchup one day. So take THAT! Next week PTW (4-0) plays Favre Failure Wagon (4-0) in a battle of the undefeated teams. THT (1-3) will go against G-Unit (1-3).
** The Little Guy (Kyle) DEF Undefeated (Bob) by 6.13 points **
Wow, wow, wow! Last week TLG's girlfriend beat the undefeated Mad Max's Mama and this week she gave her good juju to Kyle, who knocked off the undefeated... Undefeated. He got a little help from Matt Schaub (QB - Hou / 23.04) and the Giants defense (24.16) who registered 10 sacks, 2 interceptions, a fumble recovery against the Bears. (They also gave up just three points). Undefeated had some poor luck, however - Mike Vick (QB - Phi / 5.00) got knocked out of his game early and Roddy White (WR - Atl / 6.95) was kept out of the end zone this week. Next week TLG (2-2) will take on the fading Pack-Men (1-3) and UD (3-1) looks to get revenge against probably Miami-less RN to the Rescue (1-3).
** Favre Failure Wagon (Steve) DEF Mad Max's Mama (Kerri) by 7.90 points **
I think that Kerri is starting to panic after her second straight loss. This one was a close one against a powerful team, though, so there shouldn't be too much hand-wringing in the Gardner West household. FFW was bolstered by Peyton Manning (QB - Ind / 28.76) and Ahmad Bradshaw (RB - NYG / 23.15), while MMM had another great game from Dustin Keller (TE - NYJ / 14.40). Next week FFW (4-0) looks to continue his perfect streak against Play to Win the Game (4-0) and MMM (2-2) will take on the apparently free-falling Boss Hogg (0-4).
** Sobchak Security (Rick) DEF Pack Men (Brett) by 9.53 points **
I'd bet that Rick is pretty unhappy that the moment he benches Terrell Owens (WR - Cin / 19.60), the guy has a huge game. It didn't make much of a difference, though - another disappointing week by Mike Sims-Walker (WR - Jac / 0.00) helped to send Pack-Men to his third loss. I've got to hand it to Brett for his loyalty, though - he is hoping against hope that Walker will have a huge game after averaging less than 3.5 points per game. Next week SS (4-0) takes on Browns Backups (2-2) and PM (1-3) will go against The Little Guy (2-2)
** Boycott LA (Matt) DEF Boss Hogg (Jordan) by 34.01 points **
Jordan needed Tom Brady (QB - NE / 17.92) to get like 40 points in his Monday night matchup agains the Dolphins. Needless to say, that didn't happen. With the exception of Arian Foster (RB - Hou / 30.10), BH had a pretty rough week. Boycott LA had a dramatically different week: Antonio Gates (TE - SD / 20.95) put on a clinic against the newly crappy Cardinals and Kyle Orton (QB - Den / 30.54) put up over 350 all-purpose yards against the Titans. Next week BLA (2-2) will battle the unlucky Sexual Chocolate (0-4) and BH (0-4) will look to upset Mad Max's Mama (2-2).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** G-Unit (Sam) DEF Sexual Chocolate (John) by 41.58 points **
The ass-kicked becomes the ass-kickers! Don't let the disappointing day by the 'bye'-ridden SC diminish the quality of Sam's team, who would have beaten 9 of the 13 other teams in the league this week - I saw this coming last week when she barely came up short against arguably the league's best team*. John's squad was a train wreck, though - Chris Johnson (RB - Ten / 11.45) was the team's highest scorer. Sam's team was anchored by David Garrard (QB - Jac / 31.61), who had an unusually high-scoring Sunday. Next week G-Unit (1-3) looks to continue her resurgence against a worthy-but-cocky Two Hand Touch (1-3) and SC (0-4) looks to put the brakes on this skid against Boycott LA (2-2)
* = I may be biased.
** Superstars of the Week **
1. David Garrard (QB – Jac – G-Unit) 31.61 pts
2. Maurice Jones-Drew (RB – Jac – Boss Hogg / DNS) 31.55 pts
3. Kyle Orton (QB– Den – Boycott LA) 30.54 pts
4. Arian Foster (RB – Hou – Boss Hogg) 30.10 pts
5. LaDanian Tomlinson (RB – NYJ – Two Hand Touch) 30.00 pts
** AKOTW Standings **
1. Undefeated (2-0) - Week 2 +39.78 vs GrNeGgSnHaM, Week 3 +17.64 vs Brown’s Backups
2. GrNeGgSnHaM (1-2) Week 3 +41.58 vs Sexual Chocolate
3. Mad Max’s Mama (1-0) - Week 1 +24.05 vs GrNeGgSnHaM
