Hey…what’s that? Is it the light at the end of the tunnel? With only 2 more regular season games left in the league we already have 3 out of 8 playoff spots locked up. While Guns of the Navarone, RN to the Rescue, and browns backups can afford to sit back and enjoy a margarita or two, the rest of the league will be locked in a bloodbath. The American League has virtually every remaining team sitting on the playoff bubble with 2 (6-6) teams and 3 (5-7) teams. The National League on the other hand is running the gamut with records anywhere from (2-10) up to (7-5). Hold on to your butts people, it’s going to get interesting.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** browns backups DEF PorNada by 0.42 points **
Talk about a razors edge margin! In a soul-crushing loss for PorNada and a ticket to the playoffs for browns backups this was an exciting game for both owners. PorNada once again relied on consistent Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 20.79) while an uncertain at times Willis McGahee (RB – Den / 17.35) proved to be a good choice. All of that was for nothing though when browns backups pulled out the defensive big guns with Baltimore (Def – Bal / 19.28) and Terrell Suggs (LB – Bal / 17.50) having great days. Next week browns backups (9-3) will play The Little Guy (7-5) while PorNada (5-7) will play Wildcats Rule (5-7).
** Ron Paul 4 Lyfe DEF Boss Hogg by 3.41 points **
Clinging desperately to the hopes of a playoff spot RP4L snatched victory from the hands of Boss Hogg. Despite poor games from 5 of his players RP4L’s BenJarvus Green-Ellis (RB – NE / 21.20) and Ryan Mathews (RB – SD / 18.35) picked up the slack. Boss Hogg had a surprisingly good day from St Louis (Def – StL / 21.52) but did not get the expected points from Jordy Nelson (WR – GB / 2.30). Next week Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (5-7) will play Guns of the Navarone (9-3) while Boss Hogg (6-6) will play Sex Panther (5-7).
** Sobchak Security DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 15.76 points **
I refuse to believe Tim Tebow (QB – Den / 24.11) is a real quarterback. He’s got to be a gimmick….nope…..can’t believe it. Not only did Sobchak Security benefit from his lord and savior but he also had a strong game from Rob Bironas (K – Ten / 19.50) despite a missed kick in the game. GrNeGgSnHaM continued to dig a grave with 8 players in the single digit category. Notable players on GrNeGgSnHaM’s side included Victor Cruz (WR – NYG / 22.10) and Ray Rice (RB – Bal / 15.40). Next week Sobchak Security (6-6) will play RN to the Rescue (8-4) while GrNeGgSnHaM (2-10) will play Mad Max’s Mama (6-6).
** RN to the Rescue DEF Wildcats Rule by 24.72 points **
You know what, screw Tebow. Bresus is the true savior. What a matchup with two incredibly well played quarterbacks. In the left corner was RN to the Rescue’s Drew Brees (QB – NO / 40.56) who ran a clinic on the Giants defense. In the right corner was Wildcats Rule’s Tom Brady (QB – NE / 31.52) who despite putting up great numbers fell short of Dats Who. Guess you’ll just have to go home to your supermodel wife and sob quietly into a pillow Tom. Next week RN to the Rescue (8-4) will play Sobchak Security (6-6) while Wildcats Rule (5-7) will play PorNada (5-7).
** Mad Max’s Mama DEF two hand touch by 25.01 points **
In post-game smack talk Mad Max’s Mama was quoted “my kicker sure helped me along! Defense didn’t help though…”. Well that pretty much sums it up! Mad Max’s Mama’s Sebastian Janikowski (K – Oak / 33.00) would be her top scorer by a long shot while Philadelphia (Def – Phi / -2.22) decided to put on greenman suits and drink riot punch instead of actually playing. two hand touch had a great game from Matt Ryan (QB – Atl / 28.09) but was also let down by his defense, San Diego (Def – SD / 2.74). Next week Mad Max’s Mama (6-6) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (2-10) while two hand touch (6-6) will play Pack-Men (5-7).
** Sex Panther DEF Guns of the Navarone by 30.04 points **
I’m not even going to comment on the smack talk between these two this week. Sex Panther, although with no superstars this week, won on the basis of consistency with 10 out of 12 players pulling double digit numbers. Among top scorers for Sex Panther were LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 15.05) and Billy Cundiff (K – Bal / 15.00). Guns of the Navarone was let down by an uncharacteristically bad San Francisco (Def – SF / 2.86) and a bipolar Vincent Jackson (WR – SD / 1.75). Next week Sex Panther (5-7) will play Boss Hogg (6-6) while Guns of the Navarone (9-3) will play (Edi. Note: be crushed by) Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (5-7).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Pack-Men DEF The Little Guy by 53.01 points **
Welcome to bizarro NFL, where Sexy Rexy aka Grossmania aka Rex Grossman (QB – Was / 19.33) can beat Cammy-cam-cam Cam Newton (QB – Car / 19.31) in points. Helping Pack-Men seal the deal was the poor-mans Forte, Reggie Bush (RB – Ari / 30.40). The Little Guy could only watch in horror when both Dez Bryant (WR – Dal / 2.90) and Devin Hester (WR – Chi / 0.92) had pathetic games. Next week Pack-Men (5-7) will play two hand touch (6-6) while The Little Guy (7-5) will play browns backups (9-3).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to Katrina survivor Drew Brees (QB – NO / 40.56). With 4 TDs, 0 Ints, 363 passing yards, and a passing rating of 129.6 there was no stopping this offensive juggernaut. Honestly it’s hard to make fun of the guy, even if he does like Chilis. So a toast to you Mr. Brees, may you get crushed in the NFC championship game by the Packers. Cheers!
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Season 2011 Week 11 Recap (sort of)
Steve's been doing a great job with recaps and had some technical difficulties, so I decided to fill in this week. Got a little lazy and it's devolved into mostly reaction .gifs. So sue me.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** Wildcats Rule DEF The Little Guy by 2.29 points **
Kyle's motley crew (not the band) almost pulled this one off - Cam Newton (QB - Car / 25.15) had another great game and LeGarrette Blount (RB - TB / 20.90) had a strong performance against a stingy Green Bay Defense:
But it was all for naught - Wildcats Rule won (somehow) thanks to relatively consistent performances from his squad. Or something.
** GrNeGgSnHaM DEF Sex Panther by 3.18 points **
Sex Panther could do no wrong this week - he beat his projected points by a dozen and was the recipient of a nearly 150-point game against a team with only one victory. It's in the bag, right?
Nope! Samantha notched up her second win of the season and dealt a nearly fatal blow to John's playoff hopes with a score that exceeded projections by almost 30 points. Sam is looking to play the spoiler here, so teams better watch out!
** Por Nada DEF Mad Max's Mama by 7.09 points **
Fresh off of her upset victory over Brown's Backups, Mad Max's Mama promptly shat the bed against division rival Por Nada.
** Two Hand Touch DEF Brown's Backups by 11.83 points **
I think this is probably how Josh feels right about now:
** RN to the Rescue DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 20.10 points **
RN to the Rescue continued her three-game winning streak by shellacking Ron Paul (despite the fact that he scored over 150 points!).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF Pack Men by 23.00 points **
Beat *me* in Madden in my own house, why doncha... It was a good game, my friend. Until next time!
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Boss Hogg DEF Sobchak Security by 79.08 points **
Good lord, what an ass-kicking.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** Wildcats Rule DEF The Little Guy by 2.29 points **
Kyle's motley crew (not the band) almost pulled this one off - Cam Newton (QB - Car / 25.15) had another great game and LeGarrette Blount (RB - TB / 20.90) had a strong performance against a stingy Green Bay Defense:
But it was all for naught - Wildcats Rule won (somehow) thanks to relatively consistent performances from his squad. Or something.
** GrNeGgSnHaM DEF Sex Panther by 3.18 points **
Sex Panther could do no wrong this week - he beat his projected points by a dozen and was the recipient of a nearly 150-point game against a team with only one victory. It's in the bag, right?
Nope! Samantha notched up her second win of the season and dealt a nearly fatal blow to John's playoff hopes with a score that exceeded projections by almost 30 points. Sam is looking to play the spoiler here, so teams better watch out!
** Por Nada DEF Mad Max's Mama by 7.09 points **
Fresh off of her upset victory over Brown's Backups, Mad Max's Mama promptly shat the bed against division rival Por Nada.
It appears that Tom Brady forgot about Welkah as Wes Welker (WR - NE / 1.60) pretty much sucked this week. Kerri claims that she should have won, but couldn't really back it up.
** Two Hand Touch DEF Brown's Backups by 11.83 points **
I think this is probably how Josh feels right about now:
But truthfully this game was a low-scoring affair. Ultimately Rex's squad put it all back together.
** RN to the Rescue DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 20.10 points **
RN to the Rescue continued her three-game winning streak by shellacking Ron Paul (despite the fact that he scored over 150 points!).
With that, a perennial league powerhouse has his playoff hopes dimmed a little further. But there's always next year, Steve - and you can always look to play the spoiler!
** Guns of the Navarone DEF Pack Men by 23.00 points **
Beat *me* in Madden in my own house, why doncha... It was a good game, my friend. Until next time!
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Boss Hogg DEF Sobchak Security by 79.08 points **
Good lord, what an ass-kicking.
Well, that's all I got kids. It's bedtime and I'm lazy. Be happy for what you get!
One more, just because I think it's funny:
Good night!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Season 2011 Week 10 Recap
That’s it! Screw Jeff and his fancy calculations! I feel I am ready to predict the winner of Unnatural Positions 2011 League. And the winner is…..oh who am I kidding it’s going to be a battle of Guns of the Navarone and browns backups. Everyone else should just give up and go home. Accept your fate or fight to live another day managers! Don’t let evil prevail.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** Ron Paul 4 Lyfe DEF Wildcats Rule by 1.54 points **
In a very close game RP4L would prevail with, surprise, his wide-receiving duo! Producing the most points for his team RP4L would look at none other then Larry Fitzgerald (WR – Ari / 21.05) to bail his butt out against a strong opponent. Wildcats Rule could not overcome the opposition despite strong games from Tom Brady (QB – NE / 28.78) and Chris Johnson (RB – Ten / 29.20). Next week Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (4-6) will play RN to the Rescue (6-4) while Wildcats Rule (5-5) will play The Little Guy (6-4).
** Mad Max’s Mama DEF browns backups by 2.96 points **
Ok I feel guilty. Initially I automatically had browns backups defeating MMM….consider it muscle memory at this point in time. MMM saw the promised land when Michael Bush (RB – Oak / 33.65) put out extraordinary numbers with Patrick Willis (LB – SF / 19.50) pulling his own weight. browns backups had an overall consistent game but only had one player breach the 20 point barrier, David Akers (K – SF / 23.50). Next week Mad Max’s Mama (5-5) will play PorNada (4-6) while browns backups (8-2) will play two hand touch (5-5).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF Boss Hogg by 11.08 points **
GotN should have been sweating from such poor WR play but thanks to his RB disastrous duo, Maurice Jones-Drew (RB – Jac / 26.10) and Rashard Mendenhall (RB – Pit / 23.75), he continues to reign supreme in his division. Boss Hogg felt the hurt from Jay Cutler (QB – Chi / 4.26) but had a ray of hope from DeMarco Murray (RB – Dal / 26.05). Next week Guns of the Navarone (8-2) will try to continue his dominance against Pack-Men (4-6) while Boss Hogg (5-5) will play Sobchak Security (5-5).
** RN to the Rescue DEF Sex Panther by 14.56 points **
So like any good rival Sex Panther saw Ron Paul 4 Lyfe’s record and felt like parity was needed, surely that’s why 7 of his players decided to give him sub-10 point games. Sex Panther felt the disappointing sting of defeat thanks to Roddy White (WR – Atl / 4.10) and James Harrison (LB – Pit / 5.00). RN on the other hand saw Marshawn Lynch (RB – Sea / 31.60) hit “beast mode” while Joshua Cribbs (WR – Cle / 3.56) decided to sit at home to watch Meet the Press. Next week RN to the Rescue (6-4) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (4-6) while Sex Panther (4-6) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-9).
** Sobchak Security DEF Pack-Men by 18.02 points **
There was no doubt that going against the strongest defensive showing I have ever seen in this league Pack-Men would taste bitter defeat. Holy smokes! SS’s Chicago (DEF – Chi / 44.88) just dominated despite Stevie Johnson's (WR – Buf / 0.90) lame showing! Pack-Men fought hard with points leaders Dallas (Def – Dal / 21.08) and Navorro Bowman (LB – SF / 21.50). Next week Sobchak Security (5-5) will play Boss Hogg (5-5) while Pack-Men (4-6) will play Guns of the Navarone (8-2).
** The Little Guy DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 22.48 points **
Ouch! Despite a strong game from Tony Romo (QB – Dal / 26.70) GrNeGgSnHaM felt the bite of defeat once again from 9 of their players falling under the 10 point mark. The Little Guy saw his lead point earners emerge from his defensive corp this week. Roman Harper (S – NO / 22.00) and Charles Woodson (CB – GB / 14.00) were among his top point earners. Next week The Little Guy (6-4) will play Wildcats Rule (5-5) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-9) will continue to look for the elusive win against Sex Panther (4-6).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** PorNada DEF two hand touch by 46.83 points **
Did someone get the number off that truck? Oh god who is that twisted corpse in the road!? Is it two hand touch? Oh the humanity! What’s there to say…PorNada’s Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 35.35) continues to be one of the most productive QBs in the league while John Kasay (K – NO / 24.00) kicks wins left and right. two hand touch had an awesome game from Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 30.80) but could not offset the anemic performance from the rest of his squad. Next week PorNada (4-6) will play Mad Max’s Mama (5-5) while two hand touch (5-5) will play browns backups (8-2).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW should go to the king of deep dish pizzas and mobsters, Chicago (Def – Chi / 44.88)! I’m not much for this communism stuff but in this case the proletariat came through and delivered an insane performance against a longtime rival, Detroit. Way to give the Packers, the very ideal of socialism, a larger lead in the NFC! Welcome comrades to another controlled, anti- free market dominated season…I hope you are all happy!
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** Ron Paul 4 Lyfe DEF Wildcats Rule by 1.54 points **
In a very close game RP4L would prevail with, surprise, his wide-receiving duo! Producing the most points for his team RP4L would look at none other then Larry Fitzgerald (WR – Ari / 21.05) to bail his butt out against a strong opponent. Wildcats Rule could not overcome the opposition despite strong games from Tom Brady (QB – NE / 28.78) and Chris Johnson (RB – Ten / 29.20). Next week Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (4-6) will play RN to the Rescue (6-4) while Wildcats Rule (5-5) will play The Little Guy (6-4).
** Mad Max’s Mama DEF browns backups by 2.96 points **
Ok I feel guilty. Initially I automatically had browns backups defeating MMM….consider it muscle memory at this point in time. MMM saw the promised land when Michael Bush (RB – Oak / 33.65) put out extraordinary numbers with Patrick Willis (LB – SF / 19.50) pulling his own weight. browns backups had an overall consistent game but only had one player breach the 20 point barrier, David Akers (K – SF / 23.50). Next week Mad Max’s Mama (5-5) will play PorNada (4-6) while browns backups (8-2) will play two hand touch (5-5).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF Boss Hogg by 11.08 points **
GotN should have been sweating from such poor WR play but thanks to his RB disastrous duo, Maurice Jones-Drew (RB – Jac / 26.10) and Rashard Mendenhall (RB – Pit / 23.75), he continues to reign supreme in his division. Boss Hogg felt the hurt from Jay Cutler (QB – Chi / 4.26) but had a ray of hope from DeMarco Murray (RB – Dal / 26.05). Next week Guns of the Navarone (8-2) will try to continue his dominance against Pack-Men (4-6) while Boss Hogg (5-5) will play Sobchak Security (5-5).
** RN to the Rescue DEF Sex Panther by 14.56 points **
So like any good rival Sex Panther saw Ron Paul 4 Lyfe’s record and felt like parity was needed, surely that’s why 7 of his players decided to give him sub-10 point games. Sex Panther felt the disappointing sting of defeat thanks to Roddy White (WR – Atl / 4.10) and James Harrison (LB – Pit / 5.00). RN on the other hand saw Marshawn Lynch (RB – Sea / 31.60) hit “beast mode” while Joshua Cribbs (WR – Cle / 3.56) decided to sit at home to watch Meet the Press. Next week RN to the Rescue (6-4) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (4-6) while Sex Panther (4-6) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-9).
** Sobchak Security DEF Pack-Men by 18.02 points **
There was no doubt that going against the strongest defensive showing I have ever seen in this league Pack-Men would taste bitter defeat. Holy smokes! SS’s Chicago (DEF – Chi / 44.88) just dominated despite Stevie Johnson's (WR – Buf / 0.90) lame showing! Pack-Men fought hard with points leaders Dallas (Def – Dal / 21.08) and Navorro Bowman (LB – SF / 21.50). Next week Sobchak Security (5-5) will play Boss Hogg (5-5) while Pack-Men (4-6) will play Guns of the Navarone (8-2).
** The Little Guy DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 22.48 points **
Ouch! Despite a strong game from Tony Romo (QB – Dal / 26.70) GrNeGgSnHaM felt the bite of defeat once again from 9 of their players falling under the 10 point mark. The Little Guy saw his lead point earners emerge from his defensive corp this week. Roman Harper (S – NO / 22.00) and Charles Woodson (CB – GB / 14.00) were among his top point earners. Next week The Little Guy (6-4) will play Wildcats Rule (5-5) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-9) will continue to look for the elusive win against Sex Panther (4-6).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** PorNada DEF two hand touch by 46.83 points **
Did someone get the number off that truck? Oh god who is that twisted corpse in the road!? Is it two hand touch? Oh the humanity! What’s there to say…PorNada’s Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 35.35) continues to be one of the most productive QBs in the league while John Kasay (K – NO / 24.00) kicks wins left and right. two hand touch had an awesome game from Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 30.80) but could not offset the anemic performance from the rest of his squad. Next week PorNada (4-6) will play Mad Max’s Mama (5-5) while two hand touch (5-5) will play browns backups (8-2).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW should go to the king of deep dish pizzas and mobsters, Chicago (Def – Chi / 44.88)! I’m not much for this communism stuff but in this case the proletariat came through and delivered an insane performance against a longtime rival, Detroit. Way to give the Packers, the very ideal of socialism, a larger lead in the NFC! Welcome comrades to another controlled, anti- free market dominated season…I hope you are all happy!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Projections for the rest of the season
We're in the midst of the final 5 weeks before the playoffs, and you'll remember that last week I posted some strength-of-schedule analysis that I now think is bunk.
I re-did the numbers not based on wins (which are almost arbitrary) but based on the point averages in the last four weeks. This helps to give a number based on recent performance as opposed to overall performance (does week one matter anymore?) or wins (a team who had a tough start might still be a strong opponent this week). Based on these numbers, the team strength ratings are as follows:
I re-did the numbers not based on wins (which are almost arbitrary) but based on the point averages in the last four weeks. This helps to give a number based on recent performance as opposed to overall performance (does week one matter anymore?) or wins (a team who had a tough start might still be a strong opponent this week). Based on these numbers, the team strength ratings are as follows:
So what does this mean? It means that even though he's relatively low in the rankings, Sex Panther has the 5th highest point totals in the last four weeks - certainly a stronger opponent than he might appear based on record. Boss Hogg is another good example of this.
Based on these numbers and the remaining opponents, I have determined the projected rankings as follows:
As I've said before, it doesn't look like anybody is going to stop Brown's Backups. Josh's team only seems to have two possible challengers - week 11 vs Two Hand Touch and week 12 vs Por Nada. But of course, anything can happen. There are some challenges with this model, however - week 12 shows a matchup between the Little Guy (average 120.80) and Pack Men (average 120.87). I certainly wouldn't call that a certain win for either team - so I wrote those close ones up as a projected tie. With only 5 weeks left and two games between the number 3 and number 11 teams, this provides a pretty large margin of error.
...And, as always - this means little as the game can change so much in a short period of time. I'll revisit this at the end of the season to see how accurate it was. Good luck in the last 5 games!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Season 2011 Week 09 Recap
Don’t forget kids! This week is the start of Thursday night football! So make sure you load up on plenty of San Diego and Raiders players….trust me!
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** browns backups DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 3.87 points **
It was another tough loss for RP4L but there was hope….hope in the fact that maybe his team isn’t as bad as he once thought. Despite strong games for RP4L’s Matt Hasselbeck (QB – Ten / 20.99) and Darren Sproles (RB – NO / 17.08) browns backups would eek out the win with Mike Tolbert (RB – SD / 23.60) and David Akers (K – SF / 23.00). Should have started that Green Bay defense Steve! Next week browns backups (8-1) will play Mad Max’s Mama (4-5) while Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-6) will play Wildcats Rule (5-4).
** Mad Max’s Mama DEF The Little Guy by 7.28 points **
So despite both teams having 0.00 earning wide recievers, Mad Max’s Mama pulled off the win against a mediocre The Little Guy showing. Mad Max’s Mama may have had a windfall from Patrick Willis (LB – SF / 27.50) who continues to impress as a prime points generator. The Little Guy's top scorer this week was Neil Rackers (K – Hou / 19.50) who may be one of the most consistent kickers in the league. Next week Mad Max’s Mama (4-5) will play browns backups (8-1) while The Little Guy (5-4) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-8).
** Wildcats Rule DEF Sobchak Security by 19.33 points **
Not even the heavenly disciple, Tim Tebow (QB – Den / 27.38) could save Sobchak Security from this defeat. Wildcats Rule would rely on his RB squad, Steven Jackson (RB – StL / 21.85) and Chris Johnson (RB – Ten / 13.50), to lead him to victory this week. Aside from Tebow, Sobchak only saw a decent game from Shonn Greene (RB – NYJ / 13.30). Next week Wildcats Rule (5-4) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-6) while Sobchak Security (4-5) will play Pack-Men (4-5).
** two hand touch DEF Sex Panther by 25.26 points **
It would be a battle of the cripples between these two team’s defenses. two hand touch’s Kansas City (Def – KC / 0.90) could simply not out-retard Sex Panther’s Oakland (Def – Oak / 0.04) this week. two hand touch’s Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 25.75) would again prove instrumental in this win. Sex Panther’s LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 21.10) could just not pick up the slack. Next week two hand touch (5-4) will play PorNada (3-6) while Sex Panther (4-5) will play RN to the Rescue (5-4).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 27.98 points **
GrNeGgSnHaM could have had this one if his entire defensive team had not generated a whole 13.00 points! GotN coasted on a strong game from Vincent Jackson (WR – SD / 26.80) while Eli Manning (QB – NYG / 19.05) continued to be the superior Manning. GrNeGgSnHaM had strong games from Tony Romo (QB – Dal / 21.63) and Ray Rice (RB – Bal / 20.55) but again with the poor play from his defensive squad it would have been surprising to see a win. Next week Guns of the Navarone (7-2) will play Boss Hogg (5-4) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-8) will play The Little Guy (5-4).
** RN to the Rescue DEF PorNada by 28.90 points **
One would think that starting a QB like Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 37.64) would lead to an instant victory, not so this time. Despite a strong QB showing PorNada felt the dagger when his WR corp of Deion Branch (WR – NE / 1.55) and Devin Hester (WR – Chi / 1.83) failed to produce. RN to the Rescue was gifted with great games from Marshawn Lynch (RB – Sea / 24.90) and Arizona (Def – Ari / 27.00). Next week RN to the Rescue (5-4) will play Sex Panther (4-5) while PorNada (3-6) will play two hand touch (5-4).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Boss Hogg DEF Pack-Men by 29.57 points **
Despite one writer’s opinion *ahmm* Pack-Men decided to stick it out with a now crippled Dallas Clark (TE – Ind / 1.55), DROP HIM drop him DROP HIM drop him DROP HIM! In this AKOTW Boss Hogg put another victory under his belt with strong games from DeMarco Murray (RB – Dal / 21.30) and Jay Cutler (QB – Chi / 18.46 / 5.8% A1C). Pack-Men could not get a bipolar Michael Vick (QB – Phi / 10.06) to produce him enough points for a win. Next week Boss Hogg (5-4) will play Guns of the Navarone (7-2) while Pack-Men (4-5) will play Sobchak Security (4-5).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW should go to Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 37.64) but he’s one to share the wealth so it looks like it’s going to Willis McGahee (RB – Den / 30.15) who PorNada unfortunately subbed out for Ryan Torain (RB – Was / 1.20)….ouch! McGahee, despite a nagging hand injury, showed off his “can-do” attitude and showed that he didn’t need a hand-out, a true boot-straps kind of guy!
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** browns backups DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 3.87 points **
It was another tough loss for RP4L but there was hope….hope in the fact that maybe his team isn’t as bad as he once thought. Despite strong games for RP4L’s Matt Hasselbeck (QB – Ten / 20.99) and Darren Sproles (RB – NO / 17.08) browns backups would eek out the win with Mike Tolbert (RB – SD / 23.60) and David Akers (K – SF / 23.00). Should have started that Green Bay defense Steve! Next week browns backups (8-1) will play Mad Max’s Mama (4-5) while Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-6) will play Wildcats Rule (5-4).
** Mad Max’s Mama DEF The Little Guy by 7.28 points **
So despite both teams having 0.00 earning wide recievers, Mad Max’s Mama pulled off the win against a mediocre The Little Guy showing. Mad Max’s Mama may have had a windfall from Patrick Willis (LB – SF / 27.50) who continues to impress as a prime points generator. The Little Guy's top scorer this week was Neil Rackers (K – Hou / 19.50) who may be one of the most consistent kickers in the league. Next week Mad Max’s Mama (4-5) will play browns backups (8-1) while The Little Guy (5-4) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-8).
** Wildcats Rule DEF Sobchak Security by 19.33 points **
Not even the heavenly disciple, Tim Tebow (QB – Den / 27.38) could save Sobchak Security from this defeat. Wildcats Rule would rely on his RB squad, Steven Jackson (RB – StL / 21.85) and Chris Johnson (RB – Ten / 13.50), to lead him to victory this week. Aside from Tebow, Sobchak only saw a decent game from Shonn Greene (RB – NYJ / 13.30). Next week Wildcats Rule (5-4) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-6) while Sobchak Security (4-5) will play Pack-Men (4-5).
** two hand touch DEF Sex Panther by 25.26 points **
It would be a battle of the cripples between these two team’s defenses. two hand touch’s Kansas City (Def – KC / 0.90) could simply not out-retard Sex Panther’s Oakland (Def – Oak / 0.04) this week. two hand touch’s Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 25.75) would again prove instrumental in this win. Sex Panther’s LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 21.10) could just not pick up the slack. Next week two hand touch (5-4) will play PorNada (3-6) while Sex Panther (4-5) will play RN to the Rescue (5-4).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 27.98 points **
GrNeGgSnHaM could have had this one if his entire defensive team had not generated a whole 13.00 points! GotN coasted on a strong game from Vincent Jackson (WR – SD / 26.80) while Eli Manning (QB – NYG / 19.05) continued to be the superior Manning. GrNeGgSnHaM had strong games from Tony Romo (QB – Dal / 21.63) and Ray Rice (RB – Bal / 20.55) but again with the poor play from his defensive squad it would have been surprising to see a win. Next week Guns of the Navarone (7-2) will play Boss Hogg (5-4) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-8) will play The Little Guy (5-4).
** RN to the Rescue DEF PorNada by 28.90 points **
One would think that starting a QB like Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 37.64) would lead to an instant victory, not so this time. Despite a strong QB showing PorNada felt the dagger when his WR corp of Deion Branch (WR – NE / 1.55) and Devin Hester (WR – Chi / 1.83) failed to produce. RN to the Rescue was gifted with great games from Marshawn Lynch (RB – Sea / 24.90) and Arizona (Def – Ari / 27.00). Next week RN to the Rescue (5-4) will play Sex Panther (4-5) while PorNada (3-6) will play two hand touch (5-4).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Boss Hogg DEF Pack-Men by 29.57 points **
Despite one writer’s opinion *ahmm* Pack-Men decided to stick it out with a now crippled Dallas Clark (TE – Ind / 1.55), DROP HIM drop him DROP HIM drop him DROP HIM! In this AKOTW Boss Hogg put another victory under his belt with strong games from DeMarco Murray (RB – Dal / 21.30) and Jay Cutler (QB – Chi / 18.46 / 5.8% A1C). Pack-Men could not get a bipolar Michael Vick (QB – Phi / 10.06) to produce him enough points for a win. Next week Boss Hogg (5-4) will play Guns of the Navarone (7-2) while Pack-Men (4-5) will play Sobchak Security (4-5).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW should go to Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 37.64) but he’s one to share the wealth so it looks like it’s going to Willis McGahee (RB – Den / 30.15) who PorNada unfortunately subbed out for Ryan Torain (RB – Was / 1.20)….ouch! McGahee, despite a nagging hand injury, showed off his “can-do” attitude and showed that he didn’t need a hand-out, a true boot-straps kind of guy!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Remaining strength of schedule - who's got the inside track?
Managers,
First I’d like to thank Steve (RonPaul4Lyfe)
for taking on the tedious job of writing the recaps. It’s not fun, but we all enjoy them!
I wanted to interject here because there are
6 pivotal games remaining until the playoffs and I thought it would be
interesting to see who’s got the toughest road ahead of them. First, the standings:
|
Rank
|
Team
|
W-L-T
|
Pct
|
Div
|
Pts For
|
Pts Against
|
Streak
|
Waiver
|
Moves
|
|
American League |
|
||||||||
|
2.
|
6-2-0
|
.750
|
2-1-0
|
1245.27
|
1030.89
|
W-2
|
13
|
36
|
|
|
4.
|
4-4-0
|
.500
|
2-1-0
|
1079.10
|
1069.50
|
W-1
|
11
|
41
|
|
|
5.
|
4-4-0
|
.500
|
0-1-0
|
1074.42
|
1049.95
|
W-2
|
10
|
13
|
|
|
7.
|
4-4-0
|
.500
|
1-2-0
|
1037.17
|
1014.41
|
W-3
|
8
|
21
|
|
|
9.
|
4-4-0
|
.500
|
1-1-0
|
941.51
|
1078.53
|
L-1
|
6
|
18
|
|
|
10.
|
4-4-0
|
.500
|
1-0-0
|
940.82
|
990.66
|
W-1
|
5
|
32
|
|
|
11.
|
3-5-0
|
.375
|
0-1-0
|
1019.11
|
1110.49
|
L-4
|
4
|
34
|
|
|
National League |
|
||||||||
|
1.
|
7-1-0
|
.875
|
1-0-0
|
1122.98
|
966.51
|
L-1
|
14
|
21
|
|
|
3.
|
5-3-0
|
.625
|
2-0-0
|
1023.30
|
971.17
|
W-1
|
12
|
18
|
|
|
6.
|
4-4-0
|
.500
|
1-2-0
|
1055.81
|
1020.67
|
W-1
|
9
|
24
|
|
|
8.
|
4-4-0
|
.500
|
1-1-0
|
995.68
|
978.84
|
L-1
|
7
|
17
|
|
|
12.
|
3-5-0
|
.375
|
2-1-0
|
1005.07
|
1112.98
|
L-1
|
3
|
85
|
|
|
13.
|
3-5-0
|
.375
|
0-1-0
|
992.30
|
1053.80
|
L-2
|
2
|
10
|
|
|
14.
|
1-7-0
|
.125
|
0-2-0
|
954.22
|
1038.36
|
L-6
|
1
|
19
|
|
There are a ton of teams floating at 4-4,
which means that every game is crucial.
Remember, the playoffs are based solely on record (with exception of the
winners of the two divisions, which automatically get the #1 and #2 seeds,
regardless of where they rank league-wide).
Based on the current standings, the strength of remaining schedule is
pretty easy to determine (starting with the easiest):
#1
– Brown’s Backups – [19-29]
That’s right, folks – the team with the
easiest remaining schedule is the team who has been whooping most of our asses
already this season. Josh is looking at
a pretty clear path to a first-place seeding in the playoffs.
#2
– Guns of the Navarone and Sobchak Security – [20-28]
If I had to choose who had the easier
schedule between these two, it would be tough – both teams are playing against
teams on their way up, like Pack-Men, Sex Panther and Boss Hogg
#3
– RN to the Rescue and Wildcats Rule – [22-26]
Megan has a little bit of work cut out for
her, as she still has to play the resurgent Wildcats Rule before the season is
through. Wildcats Rule has to make it
through The Little Guy, as well.
#4
– The Little Guy – [23-25]
Kyle has had a good season so far, but his
strength of schedule is deceiving – he’s got some of the weakest teams in the
upcoming weeks, but he’s also got juggernaut Brown’s Backups and the recently
hot Wildcats Rule. He’s got a two-week
easy schedule with four hellacious weeks to top off the regular season.
#5
– Sex Panther and Mad Max’s Mama – [24-24]
These two share a number of opponents, so it
makes sense that their SOS is the same.
Sex Panther has some challenges with Guns of the Navarone, while Mad
Max’s Mama is still yet to play the Kanadian Killer, Brown’s Backups.
#6
– PorNada and Boss Hogg – [25-23]
These guys both have only one remaining
opponent with a losing record. PorNada
has yet to play Brown’s Backups and Boss Hogg has yet to play Guns of the
Navarone (though he’s the only team to have beaten Brown’s Backups, so he’s
going to be a tough one!)
#7
– Pack Men – [26-22]
Like the above teams, Brett only has one
upcoming opponent with a losing record – and he also has to play Guns of the
Navarone and The Little Guy.
#8
– Two Hand Touch – [27-21]
Although Rex has two 3-5 teams ahead of him,
he also has Brown’s Backups, Guns of the Navarone, Sex Panther and Pack-Men.
#9
– GrNeGgSnHaM and RonPaul4Lyfe – [29-19]
Samantha has five of the top six teams in the league on her schedule. Steve does not have a single opponent left with a losing record. Good luck, you two!
Samantha has five of the top six teams in the league on her schedule. Steve does not have a single opponent left with a losing record. Good luck, you two!
But, as we’ve seen in seasons past – anything
can happen. An injury to your opponent’s
superstar or your running back’s teammate can catapult you into the top of the
league! Keep on plucking away and set
some records! Earn some respect! And don’t lose hope! (Except for you, Steve –
you’re screwed).
Thanks for a great season so far, guys!
- Jeff
Season 2011 Week 08 Recap
The King is dead. Long live the King! browns backups was finally delivered a loss this week, thus ending the last undefeated team. Who will snatch victory from the face of defeat in the end? Will it be a perennial winner or will it be the lovable loser? Only time will tell!
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** The Little Guy DEF RN to the Rescue by 18.83 points **
The Little Guy landed the 1-2 punch to RN to the Rescue with stunning games from Cam Newton (QB – Car / 27.65) and Detroit (DEF – Det / 33.60) which would overcome his ailing WR squad this week. RN to the Rescue, although having points earners through her entire team did not have any strikeout performances and had top points earners in Arizona (Def – Ari / 18.56) and Marshawn Lynch (RB – Sea / 13.20). Next week The Little Guy (5-3) plays Mad Max’s Mama (3-5) while RN to the Rescue (4-4) plays PorNada (3-5).
** Pack-Men DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 19.85 points **
Pulling a necessary victory Pack-Men’s Michael Vick (QB – Phi / 25.68) and Tennessee (Def – Ten / 23.78) overcame his opponent in a convincing fashion. GrNeGgSnHaM still struggles to find that elusive second win even with great games from Ray Rice (RB – Bal / 33.70) and Nick Novak (K – SD / 21.00). Next week Pack-Men (4-4) will play Boss Hogg (4-4) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-7) will play Guns of the Navarone (6-2).
** Boss Hogg DEF browns backups by 20.83 points **
In an uncharacteristic low scoring game from browns backups Boss Hogg finally takes the undefeated giant down. Boss Hogg has only his defensive game to thank with London Fletcher (LB – Was / 30.00), Derrick Johnson (LB – KC / 24.04), and Reggie Nelson (S – Cin / 21.50) piling on the points. browns backups sputtered with poor performances from Sean Lee (LB – Dal / 0.00) and Steve Breaston (WR – KC / 2.85). Next week Boss Hogg (4-4) will play Pack-Men (4-4) while browns backups (7-1) will play garbage fire Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-5).
** Wildcats Rule DEF two hand touch by 32.05 points **
Over and over I prattle on about consistency but Wildcats Rule’s win relied on it once again. With 9 players producing double digit scores Wildcats Rule’s top earners, Steven Jackson (RB – StL / 35.05) and Scott Chandler (TE – Buf / 14.25) led his team to victory. Unfortunately for two hand touch Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 30.45) could not offset an otherwise “meh” defensive showing. Next week Wildcats Rule (4-4) will play Sobchak Security (4-4) while two hand touch (4-4) will play Sex Panther (4-4).
** Sobchak Security DEF PorNada by 39.10 points **
Soooo PorNada…..you might want to start a QB next week, might be a little productive. Minus a QB PorNada practically gave away the game with an addition poor performance from Brandon Jacobs (RB – NYG / 2.75). Too bad considering the strong game from Cincinnati (Def – Cin / 32.98). Sobchak Security answered quickly with Buffalo (Def – Buf / 28.44) and Tim Tebow (QB – Den / 15.39) throwing dirt onto the grave. Next week Sobchak Security (4-4) will play Wildcats Rule (4-4) while PorNada (3-5) will play RN to the Rescue (4-4).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF Mad Max’s Mama by 42.01 points **
In a battle of the spouses GotN would reign supreme in this most domestic dispute. Despite strong performance from both team’s QBs, Eli Manning (QB – NYG / 23.93) and Ben Roethlisberger (QB – Pit / 21.95), it would be Maurice Jones *hyphenated* Drew (RB – Jac / 18.95) that would bring the crushing blow. Next week Guns of the Navarone (6-2) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-7) while Mad Max’s Mama (3-5) will play The Little Guy (5-3).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Sex Panther DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 56.24 points **
In a scene reminiscent of The Human Centipede Sex Panther would have been “Subject A” while RP4L would certainly have been “Subject C”, eat that shit Steve, eat it good. Every one of Sex Panther’s defensive players would yield double-digit scores but LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 37.50) would provide that punishing blow to Steve’s ego. RP4L had *surprising* shit-tacular days from Demaryius Thomas (WR – Den / 0.75) and Dan Bailey (K – Dal / 1.00). Next week Sex Panther (4-4) will play two hand touch (4-4) while Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-5) will play browns backups (7-1).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 37.50) who has had 58 carries in his last two games. Producing at minimum 14.60 points per game this season and really showing how a man can “bootstrap” his way up to elite status. Next week he faces Chicago….my condolences Urlacher.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** The Little Guy DEF RN to the Rescue by 18.83 points **
The Little Guy landed the 1-2 punch to RN to the Rescue with stunning games from Cam Newton (QB – Car / 27.65) and Detroit (DEF – Det / 33.60) which would overcome his ailing WR squad this week. RN to the Rescue, although having points earners through her entire team did not have any strikeout performances and had top points earners in Arizona (Def – Ari / 18.56) and Marshawn Lynch (RB – Sea / 13.20). Next week The Little Guy (5-3) plays Mad Max’s Mama (3-5) while RN to the Rescue (4-4) plays PorNada (3-5).
** Pack-Men DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 19.85 points **
Pulling a necessary victory Pack-Men’s Michael Vick (QB – Phi / 25.68) and Tennessee (Def – Ten / 23.78) overcame his opponent in a convincing fashion. GrNeGgSnHaM still struggles to find that elusive second win even with great games from Ray Rice (RB – Bal / 33.70) and Nick Novak (K – SD / 21.00). Next week Pack-Men (4-4) will play Boss Hogg (4-4) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-7) will play Guns of the Navarone (6-2).
** Boss Hogg DEF browns backups by 20.83 points **
In an uncharacteristic low scoring game from browns backups Boss Hogg finally takes the undefeated giant down. Boss Hogg has only his defensive game to thank with London Fletcher (LB – Was / 30.00), Derrick Johnson (LB – KC / 24.04), and Reggie Nelson (S – Cin / 21.50) piling on the points. browns backups sputtered with poor performances from Sean Lee (LB – Dal / 0.00) and Steve Breaston (WR – KC / 2.85). Next week Boss Hogg (4-4) will play Pack-Men (4-4) while browns backups (7-1) will play garbage fire Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-5).
** Wildcats Rule DEF two hand touch by 32.05 points **
Over and over I prattle on about consistency but Wildcats Rule’s win relied on it once again. With 9 players producing double digit scores Wildcats Rule’s top earners, Steven Jackson (RB – StL / 35.05) and Scott Chandler (TE – Buf / 14.25) led his team to victory. Unfortunately for two hand touch Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 30.45) could not offset an otherwise “meh” defensive showing. Next week Wildcats Rule (4-4) will play Sobchak Security (4-4) while two hand touch (4-4) will play Sex Panther (4-4).
** Sobchak Security DEF PorNada by 39.10 points **
Soooo PorNada…..you might want to start a QB next week, might be a little productive. Minus a QB PorNada practically gave away the game with an addition poor performance from Brandon Jacobs (RB – NYG / 2.75). Too bad considering the strong game from Cincinnati (Def – Cin / 32.98). Sobchak Security answered quickly with Buffalo (Def – Buf / 28.44) and Tim Tebow (QB – Den / 15.39) throwing dirt onto the grave. Next week Sobchak Security (4-4) will play Wildcats Rule (4-4) while PorNada (3-5) will play RN to the Rescue (4-4).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF Mad Max’s Mama by 42.01 points **
In a battle of the spouses GotN would reign supreme in this most domestic dispute. Despite strong performance from both team’s QBs, Eli Manning (QB – NYG / 23.93) and Ben Roethlisberger (QB – Pit / 21.95), it would be Maurice Jones *hyphenated* Drew (RB – Jac / 18.95) that would bring the crushing blow. Next week Guns of the Navarone (6-2) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-7) while Mad Max’s Mama (3-5) will play The Little Guy (5-3).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Sex Panther DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 56.24 points **
In a scene reminiscent of The Human Centipede Sex Panther would have been “Subject A” while RP4L would certainly have been “Subject C”, eat that shit Steve, eat it good. Every one of Sex Panther’s defensive players would yield double-digit scores but LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 37.50) would provide that punishing blow to Steve’s ego. RP4L had *surprising* shit-tacular days from Demaryius Thomas (WR – Den / 0.75) and Dan Bailey (K – Dal / 1.00). Next week Sex Panther (4-4) will play two hand touch (4-4) while Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-5) will play browns backups (7-1).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 37.50) who has had 58 carries in his last two games. Producing at minimum 14.60 points per game this season and really showing how a man can “bootstrap” his way up to elite status. Next week he faces Chicago….my condolences Urlacher.
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