Another week in the NFL and the “suck for Luck” campaign is in full throttle. Who will it be? Will the Dolphins continue to burn through quarterbacks like kindling or perhaps the Colts truly are a terrible team without Manning? Or maybe perennial losers like the Rams or the Cardinals will show the world how to be a proper terrible team? As for the league there were few shakeups. browns backups continues to pave his way to an undefeated season while Guns of the Navarone continues to rule the American league…so boring *yawn*.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** Sobchak Security DEF Mad Max’s Mama by 10.32 points **
Things looked promising for Mad Max’s Mama with Ben Roethlisberger (QB – Pit / 28.72) pulling a strong game but things turned sour when both of her wide recievers, Hines Ward (WR – Pit / 1.80) and Nate Burleson (WR – Det / 1.80), failed to be productive. Sobchak Security saw great games from Adrian Peterson (RB – Min / 27.00) and Shonn Greene (RB – NYJ / 16.10) who bailed out an otherwise average offensive turnout. Next week Sobchak Security (3-4) will play PorNada (3-4) while Mad Max’s Mama (3-4) will play Guns of the Navarone (5-2).
** PorNada DEF Boss Hogg by 10.37 points **
PorNada continues to ride the Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 28.50) express which with a surprisingly strong game from Quintin Mikell (S – StL / 19.00) allowed him to overcome an extremely powerful two hand touch running back squad. two hand touch’s DeMarco Murray (RB – Dal / 31.15) and Montano Hardesty (RB – Cle / 24.10) while being very impressive, could not overcome the lackluster performance from the rest of his team. Next week PorNada (3-4) will play Sobchak Security (3-4) while Boss Hogg (3-4) will play browns backups (7-0).
** RN to the Rescue DEF Pack-Men by 15.40 points **
Holy Moly! RN to the Rescue certainly benefited from the violation of the Geneva Convention that was the Saints-Colts game this week. Drew Brees (QB – NO / 39.60) provided her a solid 33% of her total points this game! Pack-Men’s continue faith in Dallas Clark (TE – Ind / 0.00) along with a meltdown from Tennessee (Def – Ten / -1.28) led to his demise this matchup. Next week RN to the Rescue (4-3) will play The Little Guy (4-3) while Pack-Men (3-4) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-6).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF The Little Guy by 33.75 points **
This seems to be the year of the kicker with GotN’s Shaun Suisham (K – Pit / 20.00) and The Little Guy’s Neil Rackers (K – Hou / 15.50) amongst the top point leaders in this matchup. GotN’s Colt McCoy (QB – Cle / 9.11) was gimped up and produced his lowest numbers of the year while The Little Guy’s Matthew Stafford (QB – Det / 11.16) shared the same fate. Next week Guns of the Navarone (5-2) will play Mad Max’s Mama (3-4) while The Little Guy (4-3) will play RN to the Rescue (4-3).
** browns backups DEF Sex Panther by 39.00 points **
So umm Sex Panther…about that Curtis Painter (QB – Ind / -0.21) you have. This was another matchup that would be settled early with browns backup continued dominance over every team in the league. Where to start? Well with 9 out of 12 players in double-digits I suppose we can just look at a few of his leaders. Matt Schaub (QB – Hou / 19.72) along with Michael Turner (RB – Atl / 19.60) pushed the browns backups pain train to another victory. Next week browns backups (7-0) will play Boss Hogg (3-4) while Sex Panther (3-4) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-4).
** Wildcats Rule DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 40.99 points **
Despite a terrible game from Matt Cassel (QB – KC / 1.62) Wildcats Rule had excellent games from James Anderson (LB – Car / 21.00) and Plaxico Burress (WR – NYJ / 20.25) and pulled out a needed win. GrNeGgSnHaM’s wide receivers, Nate Washington (WR – Ten / 0.75) and Mike Thomas (WR – Jac / 1.39) decided to take the week off much to his detriment. Next week Wildcats Rule (3-4) will play two hand touch (4-3) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-6) will play Pack-Men (3-4).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** two hand touch DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 46.77 points **
If Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 43.45) got hit by a car would anyone care? two hand touch would! Not that it would matter in this matchup as Ron Paul 4 Lyfe’s wide receiver squad, Percy Harvin (WR – Min / 3.75) and Larry Fitzgerald (WR – Ari / 6.40) continued to be losers and therefore probably liberals. Aside from Foster two hand touch had an awesome game from Matt Forte (RB – Chi / 28.15) who continued to prove to the Bears that they don’t deserve him. Next week two hand touch (4-3) plays Wildcats Rule (3-4) while Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-4) plays Sex Panther (3-4).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to number #2 offensive ranked Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 43.45). Blessed with the downfall of Texan Andre Johnson, Foster has blown up to be one of the biggest fantasy players in the league. Another great example of a free-market society, if your coworker comes down with the flu make sure to crush him or her and become the new “go to” guy or girl and make sure when they come back that they do nothing but clean toilets…or something.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Season 2011 Week 06 *Super Short* Recap
I apologize for the lateness and lack of fullness in this recap. It has been an interesting week at work. We will return to our regularly scheduled broadcast next week!
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** Wildcats Rule DEF Guns of the Navarone by 10.25 points **
Wildcats Rule’s Cincinnati (Def – Cin / 22.80) and Paul Posluszny (LB – Jac / 20.50) brought another defensive win against Guns of the Navarone’s lackluster Lance Moore (WR – NO / 2.80) and Ryan Longwell (K – Min / 4.00). Next week Wildcats Rule (2-4) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-5) while Guns of the Navarone (4-2) will play The Little Guy (4-2).
** Boss Hogg DEF The Little Guy by 10.41 points **
Boss Hogg’s Darren McFadden (RB – Oak / 22.40) and Danieal Manning (S – Hou / 16.02) helped to cement a victory over The Little Guy’s Jay Cutler (QB – Chi / 18.94) and David Akers (K – SF / 19.00). Next week Boss Hogg (3-3) will play PorNada (2-4) while The Little Guy (4-2) will play Guns of the Navarone (4-2).
** RN to the Rescue DEF two hand touch by 12.89 points **
Although RN to the Rescue didn’t have any blowout players- Drew Brees (QB – NO / 13.11), Earnest Graham (RB – TB / 15.55) at least she didn’t have anyone on the bye. two hand touch’s Patrick Peterson (CB – Ari / 0.00) was probably sleeping in that Sunday and didn’t care very much about two hand touch winning. Next week RN to the Rescue (3-3) will play Pack-Men (3-3) while two hand touch (3-3) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-3).
** Mad Max’s Mama DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 13.48 points **
It would be Ahmad Bradshaw’s (RB – NYG / 38.00) day for Mad Max’s Mama and would help offset her relatively subdued team. Ron Paul 4 Lyfe would continue to smash his head into a wall thanks to his terrible WR play with Percy Harvin (WR – Min / 7.36) and David Nelson (WR – Buf / 4.10) sucking it up like usual. Next week Mad Max’s Mama (3-3) will play Sobchak Security (2-4) while Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-3) will play two hand touch (3-3).
** Sex Panther DEF Pack-Men by 19.26 points **
Sex Panther’s Rashard Menderhall (RB – Pit / 24.80) and Josh Freeman (QB – TB / 22.51) would overcome Pack-Men’s deadly WR duo of DeSean Jackson (WR – Phi / 3.05) and Michael Crabtree (WR – SF / 6.10). Next week Sex Panther (3-3) will play browns backups (6-0) while Pack-Men (3-3) will play RN to the Rescue (3-3).
** browns backups DEF Sobchak Security by 30.88 points **
browns backups is going to grind your bones to make his bread with such players as Michael Turner (RB – Atl / 33.10) and Sean Lee (LB – Dal / 20.24). Unfortunately for Sobchak Security 3 of his players were on bye- Philip Rivers (QB – SD / 0.00), Jared Cook (TE – Ten / 0.00), and Steven Hauschka (K – Sea / 0.00). Next week browns backups (6-0) continues his domination against Sex Panther (3-3) while Sobchak Security (2-4) will play Mad Max’s Mama (3-3).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** PorNada DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 40.20 points **
PorNada made a statement that he was not dead in the league with a very strong game from Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 28.37), Devin Hester (WR – Chi / 22.48), and New York (Def – NYJ / 26.54). GrNeGgSnHaM did not even have a chance with such poor play from Victor Cruz (WR – NYG / 1.10) and New Orleans (Def – NO / 1.18). Next week PorNada (2-4) will play Boss Hogg (3-3) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-5) will play Wildcats Rule (2-4).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to…everyone! Ron Paul is feeling generous today.
Again sorry for the short, to the point, recaps but we will be back to the normal style next week assuming I don’t have to calibrate every little piece of lab equipment I have down here.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** Wildcats Rule DEF Guns of the Navarone by 10.25 points **
Wildcats Rule’s Cincinnati (Def – Cin / 22.80) and Paul Posluszny (LB – Jac / 20.50) brought another defensive win against Guns of the Navarone’s lackluster Lance Moore (WR – NO / 2.80) and Ryan Longwell (K – Min / 4.00). Next week Wildcats Rule (2-4) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-5) while Guns of the Navarone (4-2) will play The Little Guy (4-2).
** Boss Hogg DEF The Little Guy by 10.41 points **
Boss Hogg’s Darren McFadden (RB – Oak / 22.40) and Danieal Manning (S – Hou / 16.02) helped to cement a victory over The Little Guy’s Jay Cutler (QB – Chi / 18.94) and David Akers (K – SF / 19.00). Next week Boss Hogg (3-3) will play PorNada (2-4) while The Little Guy (4-2) will play Guns of the Navarone (4-2).
** RN to the Rescue DEF two hand touch by 12.89 points **
Although RN to the Rescue didn’t have any blowout players- Drew Brees (QB – NO / 13.11), Earnest Graham (RB – TB / 15.55) at least she didn’t have anyone on the bye. two hand touch’s Patrick Peterson (CB – Ari / 0.00) was probably sleeping in that Sunday and didn’t care very much about two hand touch winning. Next week RN to the Rescue (3-3) will play Pack-Men (3-3) while two hand touch (3-3) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-3).
** Mad Max’s Mama DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 13.48 points **
It would be Ahmad Bradshaw’s (RB – NYG / 38.00) day for Mad Max’s Mama and would help offset her relatively subdued team. Ron Paul 4 Lyfe would continue to smash his head into a wall thanks to his terrible WR play with Percy Harvin (WR – Min / 7.36) and David Nelson (WR – Buf / 4.10) sucking it up like usual. Next week Mad Max’s Mama (3-3) will play Sobchak Security (2-4) while Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-3) will play two hand touch (3-3).
** Sex Panther DEF Pack-Men by 19.26 points **
Sex Panther’s Rashard Menderhall (RB – Pit / 24.80) and Josh Freeman (QB – TB / 22.51) would overcome Pack-Men’s deadly WR duo of DeSean Jackson (WR – Phi / 3.05) and Michael Crabtree (WR – SF / 6.10). Next week Sex Panther (3-3) will play browns backups (6-0) while Pack-Men (3-3) will play RN to the Rescue (3-3).
** browns backups DEF Sobchak Security by 30.88 points **
browns backups is going to grind your bones to make his bread with such players as Michael Turner (RB – Atl / 33.10) and Sean Lee (LB – Dal / 20.24). Unfortunately for Sobchak Security 3 of his players were on bye- Philip Rivers (QB – SD / 0.00), Jared Cook (TE – Ten / 0.00), and Steven Hauschka (K – Sea / 0.00). Next week browns backups (6-0) continues his domination against Sex Panther (3-3) while Sobchak Security (2-4) will play Mad Max’s Mama (3-3).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** PorNada DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 40.20 points **
PorNada made a statement that he was not dead in the league with a very strong game from Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 28.37), Devin Hester (WR – Chi / 22.48), and New York (Def – NYJ / 26.54). GrNeGgSnHaM did not even have a chance with such poor play from Victor Cruz (WR – NYG / 1.10) and New Orleans (Def – NO / 1.18). Next week PorNada (2-4) will play Boss Hogg (3-3) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-5) will play Wildcats Rule (2-4).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to…everyone! Ron Paul is feeling generous today.
Again sorry for the short, to the point, recaps but we will be back to the normal style next week assuming I don’t have to calibrate every little piece of lab equipment I have down here.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Season 2011 Week 05 Recap
In a very religious week in the NFL good and evil both made headlines. Al Davis’s final phylactery was found and destroyed, sending him back into the abyss while Tim Tebow descended from the heavens Sunday to lead the Broncos back to the glory days. After 5 weeks Guns of the Navarone (4-1) leads the American League while browns backups (5-0) continues to dominate in the National League, but with 9 matchups remaining the playoff landscape could change dramatically.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** The Little Guy DEF PorNada by 3.48 points **
The Little Guy’s Cam Newton (QB – Car / 26.93) proved to be the man in this matchup with Pierre Garcon (WR – Ind / 19.50) providing a surprising backup given the Colts questionable quarterback play. PorNada continues to search for that elusive win even with good games from Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 22.97) and John Kasay (K – NO / 18.00). PorNada’s anemic Kansas City (Def – KC / 0.78) could share most of the blame. Next week The Little Guy (4-1) will play Boss Hogg (2-3) while PorNada (1-4) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-4).
** two hand touch DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 5.91 points **
A running back extravaganza! With all 4 RBs in play bringing in a collective 69.05 points it was a ground pounding day. two hand touch’s Matt Forte (RB – Chi / 19.55) and Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 21.45) led him to victory. GrNeGgSnHaM’s San Francisco Express consisting of Alex Smith (QB – SF / 22.50) and Frank Gore (RB – SF / 23.15) could not stop the team from unfortunately derailing. Next week two hand touch (3-2) will play RN to the Rescue (2-3) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-4) will play PorNada (1-4)
** Sex Panther DEF Mad Max’s Mama by 13.24 points **
It was a strong matchup between two defensively solid teams, but would be won on the leg of a kicker. Sex Panther had a combined 75.14 points from his defensive squad but it would be points leader, Sebastian Janikowski (K – Oak / 28.00), who would seal the deal. Mad Max’s Mama also featured a combined 54.60 defensive points but unfortunately Ben Roethlisberger (QB – Pit / 34.96) and Ahmad Bradshaw (RB – NYG / 18.25) would be the only productive offensive players on her team. Next week Sex Panther (2-3) will play Pack-Men (3-2) while Mad Max’s Mama (2-3) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-2).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF Sobchak Security by 21.51 points **
In a game of strong point earners consistency would win the day. Guns of the Navarone had 10 out of 12 players producing double digit scores with only Vincent Jackson (WR – SD / 2.45) being the anomaly. Among GotN’s top points earners was San Francisco (Def – SF / 25.46) and Eli Manning (QB – NYG / 22.55). Sobchak Security had another freakish game from Adrian Peterson (RB – Min / 38.60) while Shonn Greene (RB – NYJ / 21.60) helped to round out an otherwise decent showing from his other players. Next week Guns of the Navarone (4-1) will play Wildcats Rule (1-4) while Sobchak Security (2-3) will play browns backups (5-0).
** Boss Hogg DEF Wildcats Rule by 24.52 points **
While Boss Hogg’s Jay Cutler (Qb – Chi / 14.93) wasn’t busy getting a concussion every passing down he was outscoring a surprisingly meh Wildcats Rule’s Tom Brady (QB – NE / 13.47). Boss Hogg’s Dwane Bowe (WR – KC / 20.15) came out with a productive day while Indianapolis (Def – Ind / 1.40) came in lame. Wildcats Rule had 66% of his players come in with single digit scores with only Chris Johnson (WR – Ten / 17.00) showing some life. Next week Boss Hogg (2-3) will play The Little Guy (4-1) while Wildcats Rule (1-4) will play Guns of the Navarone (4-1).
** browns backups DEF RN to the Rescue by 30.63 points **
browns backups continues his dominating streak with another notch in the victory belt, will no one stop him!? browns backups’ Jahvid Best (RB – Det / 21.60) and Matt Schaub (QB – Hou / 19.22) led an otherwise strong team. RN to the Rescue fell to a similar fate to that of Wildcats Rule, 66% of her team also came in with single digit scores. Among her top point earners were Drew Brees (QB – NO / 20.38) and Marshawn Lynch (RB – Sea / 19.05). Next week browns backups (5-0) will see if he can continue his undefeated streak against Sobchak Security (2-3) while RN to the Rescue (2-3) will play two hand touch (3-2).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Pack-Men DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 46.06 points **
Hot steaming garbage. That is the only way to sum up RP4L’s abysmal WR performance. With Percy Harvin (WR – Min / 1.90) and Larry Fitzgerald (WR – Ari / 4.30) trying to out gimp each other on Sunday RP4L did not stand a chance. Pack-Men on the other hand had a great performance out of Beanie Wells (RB – Ari / 20.50) and Mason Crosby (K – GB / 23.00) but may want to reconsider his historically bad TE player, Dallas Clark (TE – Ind / 0.60). Next week Pack-Men (3-2) will play Sex Panther (2-3) while Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-2) will play Mad Max’s Mama (2-3).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to Adrian Peterson...wait...sorry Peterson, you can’t win twice! Instead you force me to pick Ben Roethlisberger (QB – Pit / 34.96) who has a fine penchant for the ladies and also looks like Will Ferrel’s long lost brother. Ben has what is known as inverse-injury disorder, the more crippled he is at the start of the game the better he gets. If you theoretically broke every bone in his body his ESPN QBR rating would exceed 400! And for that we salute you Ben Roethlisberger, a gentleman and a saint.
See I didn’t even make a Ben Rapelisberger joke...oh.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** The Little Guy DEF PorNada by 3.48 points **
The Little Guy’s Cam Newton (QB – Car / 26.93) proved to be the man in this matchup with Pierre Garcon (WR – Ind / 19.50) providing a surprising backup given the Colts questionable quarterback play. PorNada continues to search for that elusive win even with good games from Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 22.97) and John Kasay (K – NO / 18.00). PorNada’s anemic Kansas City (Def – KC / 0.78) could share most of the blame. Next week The Little Guy (4-1) will play Boss Hogg (2-3) while PorNada (1-4) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-4).
** two hand touch DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 5.91 points **
A running back extravaganza! With all 4 RBs in play bringing in a collective 69.05 points it was a ground pounding day. two hand touch’s Matt Forte (RB – Chi / 19.55) and Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 21.45) led him to victory. GrNeGgSnHaM’s San Francisco Express consisting of Alex Smith (QB – SF / 22.50) and Frank Gore (RB – SF / 23.15) could not stop the team from unfortunately derailing. Next week two hand touch (3-2) will play RN to the Rescue (2-3) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-4) will play PorNada (1-4)
** Sex Panther DEF Mad Max’s Mama by 13.24 points **
It was a strong matchup between two defensively solid teams, but would be won on the leg of a kicker. Sex Panther had a combined 75.14 points from his defensive squad but it would be points leader, Sebastian Janikowski (K – Oak / 28.00), who would seal the deal. Mad Max’s Mama also featured a combined 54.60 defensive points but unfortunately Ben Roethlisberger (QB – Pit / 34.96) and Ahmad Bradshaw (RB – NYG / 18.25) would be the only productive offensive players on her team. Next week Sex Panther (2-3) will play Pack-Men (3-2) while Mad Max’s Mama (2-3) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-2).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF Sobchak Security by 21.51 points **
In a game of strong point earners consistency would win the day. Guns of the Navarone had 10 out of 12 players producing double digit scores with only Vincent Jackson (WR – SD / 2.45) being the anomaly. Among GotN’s top points earners was San Francisco (Def – SF / 25.46) and Eli Manning (QB – NYG / 22.55). Sobchak Security had another freakish game from Adrian Peterson (RB – Min / 38.60) while Shonn Greene (RB – NYJ / 21.60) helped to round out an otherwise decent showing from his other players. Next week Guns of the Navarone (4-1) will play Wildcats Rule (1-4) while Sobchak Security (2-3) will play browns backups (5-0).
** Boss Hogg DEF Wildcats Rule by 24.52 points **
While Boss Hogg’s Jay Cutler (Qb – Chi / 14.93) wasn’t busy getting a concussion every passing down he was outscoring a surprisingly meh Wildcats Rule’s Tom Brady (QB – NE / 13.47). Boss Hogg’s Dwane Bowe (WR – KC / 20.15) came out with a productive day while Indianapolis (Def – Ind / 1.40) came in lame. Wildcats Rule had 66% of his players come in with single digit scores with only Chris Johnson (WR – Ten / 17.00) showing some life. Next week Boss Hogg (2-3) will play The Little Guy (4-1) while Wildcats Rule (1-4) will play Guns of the Navarone (4-1).
** browns backups DEF RN to the Rescue by 30.63 points **
browns backups continues his dominating streak with another notch in the victory belt, will no one stop him!? browns backups’ Jahvid Best (RB – Det / 21.60) and Matt Schaub (QB – Hou / 19.22) led an otherwise strong team. RN to the Rescue fell to a similar fate to that of Wildcats Rule, 66% of her team also came in with single digit scores. Among her top point earners were Drew Brees (QB – NO / 20.38) and Marshawn Lynch (RB – Sea / 19.05). Next week browns backups (5-0) will see if he can continue his undefeated streak against Sobchak Security (2-3) while RN to the Rescue (2-3) will play two hand touch (3-2).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Pack-Men DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 46.06 points **
Hot steaming garbage. That is the only way to sum up RP4L’s abysmal WR performance. With Percy Harvin (WR – Min / 1.90) and Larry Fitzgerald (WR – Ari / 4.30) trying to out gimp each other on Sunday RP4L did not stand a chance. Pack-Men on the other hand had a great performance out of Beanie Wells (RB – Ari / 20.50) and Mason Crosby (K – GB / 23.00) but may want to reconsider his historically bad TE player, Dallas Clark (TE – Ind / 0.60). Next week Pack-Men (3-2) will play Sex Panther (2-3) while Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-2) will play Mad Max’s Mama (2-3).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to Adrian Peterson...wait...sorry Peterson, you can’t win twice! Instead you force me to pick Ben Roethlisberger (QB – Pit / 34.96) who has a fine penchant for the ladies and also looks like Will Ferrel’s long lost brother. Ben has what is known as inverse-injury disorder, the more crippled he is at the start of the game the better he gets. If you theoretically broke every bone in his body his ESPN QBR rating would exceed 400! And for that we salute you Ben Roethlisberger, a gentleman and a saint.
See I didn’t even make a Ben Rapelisberger joke...oh.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Season 2011 Week 04 Recap
Week 4 has come and gone and only one undefeated team remains, browns backups (4-0). Now i’m not one to paint a target on someone but IT IS YOUR SOLEMN DUTY TO DEFEAT THIS MENACE AND BRING HIM DOWN TO OUR LEVEL….ahem. Otherwise it was a pretty competitive week with all but one matchup being decided by less than 20 points. As we enter the Fall season who’s team will surge ahead and take the coveted Unnatural crown!
As a courteous reminder- NFL teams will be starting the bye this weekend so make sure you don’t have players that are going to be at home eating Doritos vs being productive for your team…unless you’re going again Ron Paul 4 Lyfe, in that case grab as many bye people as possible!
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** RN to the Rescue DEF Mad Max’s Mama by 3.85 points **
In a close game RN to the Rescue showed that she was not the perennial AKOTW recipient her prior two weeks had foretold. With strong games from her kicker Matt Bryant (K – Atl / 22.00) and Yeremiah Bell (S – Mia / 21.00) RN managed to offset a strong defensive game from Mad Max’s Mama’s David Harris (LB – NYJ / 21.40). Next week RN to the Rescue (2-2) will play browns backups (4-0) while Mad Max’s Mama (2-2) will take on Sex Panther (1-3).
** browns backups DEF Guns of the Navarone by 9.01 points **
In a battle of undefeated titans it would come down to a freakish RB/DEF showing on browns backups’ part to place the dagger in GotN’s heart. With an unprecedented 39.30 points browns backups’ Baltimore (DEF – Bal / 39.30) alongside Michael Turner (RB – Atl / 29.90) would have been hard to overcome by anyone. GotN had a good game from Eli Manning (QB – NYG / 20.47) but was left stumbling from mediocre offers with the rest of his team. Next week browns backups (4-0) will play RN to the Rescue (2-2) while Guns of the Navarone (3-1) will play Sobchak Security (2-2).
** Ron Paul 4 Lyfe DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 9.04 points **
In a battle of the cripples RP4L barely overcame GrNeGgSnHaM with mediocre performances from Green Bay (Def – GB / 18.32) and Ryan Matthews (RB – SD / 16.70). GrNeGgSnHaM had 3 players that overcame the 20 point barrier- Tony Romo (QB – Dal / 22.02), Ray Rice (RB – Bal / 25.50), and Frank Gore (RB – SF / 20.95) while every other member on his team drew less than 10 points each. Next week Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-1) will play Pack-Men (2-2) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-3) will play two hand touch (2-2).
** Pack-Men DEF Wildcats Rule by 12.02 points **
Sweet mother of god! Is this the week of murderous duos? Pack-Men defeated Wildcats Rule based on the 1-2 punch of Beanie Wells (RB – Ari / 38.40) and Michael Vick (QB – Phi / 29.07) while the rest of his team filled in the gaps. Wildcats Rule had fairly strong games from most of his team, Paul Posluszny (LB – Jac / 20.50) and Steven Jackson (RB – StL / 18.70), but didn’t have that special blow out player this week. Next week Pack-Men (2-2) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-1) while Wildcats Rule (1-3) will play Boss Hogg (1-3).
** PorNada DEF Sex Panther by 13.82 points **
Ummmm…uhhhhhhh….all I can say is…Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 51.36). Has there ever been as strong of a showing from one single player? Producing roughly 1/3 of PorNada’s total points, this game was in the bag once Sunday afternoon rolled around. Sex Panther’s Josh Freeman (QB – TB / 24.59), even being the team’s point leader, had no chance from the cheesehead apocalypse. Next week PorNada (1-3) will play The Little Guy (3-1) while Sex Panther (1-3) will play Mad Max’s Mama (2-2).
** The Little Guy DEF Sobchak Security by 17.11 points **
Not much to say in the matchup, two strong teams faced up and The Little Guy was the winner thanks to strong games from LeGarrette Blount (RB – TB / 25.80) and Detroit (Def – Det / 23.76) despite Justin Tuck (DE – NYG / 0.00) sucking it up like usual DITCH HIMMMMMM. Sobchak Security has a fairly ho-hum weekend with team leaders in Dan Carpenter (K – Mia / 19.00) and Philip Rivers (QB – SD / 17.64) but this week was about the blowout players, not consistent ones! Next week The Little Guy (3-1) will play PorNada (1-3) while Sobchak Security (2-2) will play Guns of the Navarone (3-1)
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** two hand touch DEF Boss Hogg by 58.67 points **
The only true blowout of the week would be led by two hand touch’s Matt Forte (RB – Chi / 30.90) and New York (DEF – NYJ / 27.94), ANOTHER winning duo package. Boss Hogg’s QB, Jay Cutler (QB – Chi / 1.54), must have had low blood sugar and decided to call it an early weekend while Desmond Bishop (LB – GB / 22.50) fought to pick up the slack to no avail. Next week two hand touch (2-2) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-3) while Boss Hogg (1-3) will play Wildcats Rule (1-3).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to the king of TitleTown USA, Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 51.36). With 4 passing touchdowns + 2 rushing touchdowns against the ailing Denver Broncos (Sorry Jeff!) Rodgers sought to finally shut up the “Brett Favre is forever quarterback of Green Bay” club. Well I’m sorry Brent but unless you’re rocking civil war-era muttonchops or a championship belt you’ll never be a RPGSMVPOTW. Now go back to your wrangler commercials and dick-pics.
Signed,
A forever bitter Packers Fan
As a courteous reminder- NFL teams will be starting the bye this weekend so make sure you don’t have players that are going to be at home eating Doritos vs being productive for your team…unless you’re going again Ron Paul 4 Lyfe, in that case grab as many bye people as possible!
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** RN to the Rescue DEF Mad Max’s Mama by 3.85 points **
In a close game RN to the Rescue showed that she was not the perennial AKOTW recipient her prior two weeks had foretold. With strong games from her kicker Matt Bryant (K – Atl / 22.00) and Yeremiah Bell (S – Mia / 21.00) RN managed to offset a strong defensive game from Mad Max’s Mama’s David Harris (LB – NYJ / 21.40). Next week RN to the Rescue (2-2) will play browns backups (4-0) while Mad Max’s Mama (2-2) will take on Sex Panther (1-3).
** browns backups DEF Guns of the Navarone by 9.01 points **
In a battle of undefeated titans it would come down to a freakish RB/DEF showing on browns backups’ part to place the dagger in GotN’s heart. With an unprecedented 39.30 points browns backups’ Baltimore (DEF – Bal / 39.30) alongside Michael Turner (RB – Atl / 29.90) would have been hard to overcome by anyone. GotN had a good game from Eli Manning (QB – NYG / 20.47) but was left stumbling from mediocre offers with the rest of his team. Next week browns backups (4-0) will play RN to the Rescue (2-2) while Guns of the Navarone (3-1) will play Sobchak Security (2-2).
** Ron Paul 4 Lyfe DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 9.04 points **
In a battle of the cripples RP4L barely overcame GrNeGgSnHaM with mediocre performances from Green Bay (Def – GB / 18.32) and Ryan Matthews (RB – SD / 16.70). GrNeGgSnHaM had 3 players that overcame the 20 point barrier- Tony Romo (QB – Dal / 22.02), Ray Rice (RB – Bal / 25.50), and Frank Gore (RB – SF / 20.95) while every other member on his team drew less than 10 points each. Next week Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-1) will play Pack-Men (2-2) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-3) will play two hand touch (2-2).
** Pack-Men DEF Wildcats Rule by 12.02 points **
Sweet mother of god! Is this the week of murderous duos? Pack-Men defeated Wildcats Rule based on the 1-2 punch of Beanie Wells (RB – Ari / 38.40) and Michael Vick (QB – Phi / 29.07) while the rest of his team filled in the gaps. Wildcats Rule had fairly strong games from most of his team, Paul Posluszny (LB – Jac / 20.50) and Steven Jackson (RB – StL / 18.70), but didn’t have that special blow out player this week. Next week Pack-Men (2-2) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-1) while Wildcats Rule (1-3) will play Boss Hogg (1-3).
** PorNada DEF Sex Panther by 13.82 points **
Ummmm…uhhhhhhh….all I can say is…Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 51.36). Has there ever been as strong of a showing from one single player? Producing roughly 1/3 of PorNada’s total points, this game was in the bag once Sunday afternoon rolled around. Sex Panther’s Josh Freeman (QB – TB / 24.59), even being the team’s point leader, had no chance from the cheesehead apocalypse. Next week PorNada (1-3) will play The Little Guy (3-1) while Sex Panther (1-3) will play Mad Max’s Mama (2-2).
** The Little Guy DEF Sobchak Security by 17.11 points **
Not much to say in the matchup, two strong teams faced up and The Little Guy was the winner thanks to strong games from LeGarrette Blount (RB – TB / 25.80) and Detroit (Def – Det / 23.76) despite Justin Tuck (DE – NYG / 0.00) sucking it up like usual DITCH HIMMMMMM. Sobchak Security has a fairly ho-hum weekend with team leaders in Dan Carpenter (K – Mia / 19.00) and Philip Rivers (QB – SD / 17.64) but this week was about the blowout players, not consistent ones! Next week The Little Guy (3-1) will play PorNada (1-3) while Sobchak Security (2-2) will play Guns of the Navarone (3-1)
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** two hand touch DEF Boss Hogg by 58.67 points **
The only true blowout of the week would be led by two hand touch’s Matt Forte (RB – Chi / 30.90) and New York (DEF – NYJ / 27.94), ANOTHER winning duo package. Boss Hogg’s QB, Jay Cutler (QB – Chi / 1.54), must have had low blood sugar and decided to call it an early weekend while Desmond Bishop (LB – GB / 22.50) fought to pick up the slack to no avail. Next week two hand touch (2-2) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-3) while Boss Hogg (1-3) will play Wildcats Rule (1-3).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to the king of TitleTown USA, Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 51.36). With 4 passing touchdowns + 2 rushing touchdowns against the ailing Denver Broncos (Sorry Jeff!) Rodgers sought to finally shut up the “Brett Favre is forever quarterback of Green Bay” club. Well I’m sorry Brent but unless you’re rocking civil war-era muttonchops or a championship belt you’ll never be a RPGSMVPOTW. Now go back to your wrangler commercials and dick-pics.
Signed,
A forever bitter Packers Fan
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