With this round over our championship game has been decided! Who will take the crowning victory from this season and be deemed WORLD CHAMPION of fantasy football.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** RN to the Rescue DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 28.22 points **
Drew Brees (QB – NO / 29.39) is a sonofabitch and would once again lead RN to the Rescue to another playoff victory. Marshawn Lynch (RB – Sea / 23.55) would have a surprisingly great game against the vaunted 49er’s run defense. Ron Paul 4 Lyfe would leave deflated and demoralized after Ryan Fitzpatrick (QB – Buf / 8.02) and Dan Bailey (K – Dal / 1.00) would have turds of a game. Next week RN to the Rescue (9-5 Reg, 2-0 Playoff) will play in the championship matchup against Guns of the Navarone (9-5 Reg, 2-0 Playoff) while Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (7-7 Reg, 1-1 Playoff) will ride off into the sunset after being eliminated from the playoffs
** Guns of the Navarone DEF boss hogg by 11.06 points **
In this matchup neither team would roll over and die with a combined 16 players between the two teams scoring in the double digits. Guns of the Navarone would have his strongest games from both Maurice Jones-Drew (RB – Jac / 25.70) and Rashard Menderhall (RB – Pit / 22.80), cementing in this writer's opinion that this was the year of the running back in fantasy football. Boss Hogg would come out strong with Kahlil Bell (RB – Chi / 23.45) but was left with the bitter taste of disappointment from Nick Folk (K – NYJ / 1.00). Next week Guns of the Navarone (9-5 Reg, 2-0 Playoff) will fight to reclaim his league in the championship match against RN to the Rescue (9-5 Reg, 2-0 Playoff) while Boss Hogg (7-7 Reg, 1-1 Playoff) has been eliminated from the playoffs.
Next week in the most exciting, infuriating, and interesting matchup of the year two teams will fight for their right to be supreme champion! Will Jeff’s Eli “five-head” Manning be able to take on Megan’s Drew “The Dirty South” Brees? Our Madden 2012 simulator is predicting a blood bath of epic proportions! With all games being played on Sunday this week keep yourselves glued to the StatTracker while nursing that New Year’s hangover.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Season 2011 Playoff Week 1 Recap
8 teams entered, only 4 survived. This is going to be another short recap week as your lowly writer is getting ready for a trip to New York to die in a snowdrift. On with the recaps!
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** Ron Paul 4 Lyfe DEF The Little Guy by 18.43 points **
Extending his 4 game winning streak Ron Paul 4 Lyfe gambled on unproven T.J. Yates (QB – Hou / 5.39) and was sorely disappointed. It would be Ryan Matthews (RB – SD / 30.95) with the season saving win for RP4L. The Little Guy scored nicely with Cam Newton (QB – Car / 22.53) but would be let down by 9 of his 12 players who failed to break the double digit mark. Next week Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (7-7 Reg. 1-0 Playoff) will play RN to the Rescue (9-5 Reg. 1-0 Playoff) while The Little Guy (8-6 Reg. 0-1 Playoff) has been eliminated from the playoffs.
** Guns of the Navarone DEF two hand touch by 23.60 points **
For two hand touch this was a tough matchup but to make matters worse he would make a fatal mistake by starting crippled Bears superstar, Matt Forte (RB – Chi / 0.00), thus sealing his doom. It was a shame as Guns of the Navarone’s Eli Manning (QB – NYG / 1.44) and Tony Gonzales (TE – Atl / 0.95) would try to give the game away. Next week Guns of the Navarone (9-5 Reg. 1-0 Playoff) will play Boss Hogg (7-7 Reg. 1-0 Playoff) while two hand touch (7-7 Reg. 0-1 Playoff) has been eliminated from the playoffs.
** Boss Hogg DEF browns backups by 42.03 points **
In an upset against once vaunted browns backups, Boss Hogg would prove that he has what it takes to be league champion. Big games from London Fletcher (LB – Was / 23.00) and Jason Pierre-Paul (DE – NYG / 25.50) would pile it on for Boss Hogg. browns backups despite having great games from Peyton Hillis (RB – Cle / 24.65) and Michael Turner (RB – Atl / 19.25) would be dominated all day long. Next week Boss Hogg (7-7 Reg. 1-0 Playoff) will play Guns of the Navarone (9-5 Reg. 1-0 Playoff) while browns backups (10-4 Reg. 0-1 Playoff) has been eliminated from the playoffs.
** RN to the Rescue DEF PorNada by 55.58 points **
It’s almost unfair to go against someone who has both Drew Brees (QB – NO / 42.14) and Marshawn “beef moe” Lynch (RB – Sea / 24.85) but PorNada was caught in the gunsites of this mighty duo this week. PorNada’s Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 21.50) had his poorest game of the season while Denver (Def – Den / -0.50) would roll over and die without a fight. Next week RN to the Rescue (9-5 Reg. 1-0 Playoff) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (7-7 Reg. 1-0 Playoff) while PorNada (7-7 Reg. 0-1 Playoff) has been eliminated from the playoffs.
Well that’s it folks. We will have a much more in depth recap next week when we do our 2011 championship preview. Happy Holidays!
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** Ron Paul 4 Lyfe DEF The Little Guy by 18.43 points **
Extending his 4 game winning streak Ron Paul 4 Lyfe gambled on unproven T.J. Yates (QB – Hou / 5.39) and was sorely disappointed. It would be Ryan Matthews (RB – SD / 30.95) with the season saving win for RP4L. The Little Guy scored nicely with Cam Newton (QB – Car / 22.53) but would be let down by 9 of his 12 players who failed to break the double digit mark. Next week Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (7-7 Reg. 1-0 Playoff) will play RN to the Rescue (9-5 Reg. 1-0 Playoff) while The Little Guy (8-6 Reg. 0-1 Playoff) has been eliminated from the playoffs.
** Guns of the Navarone DEF two hand touch by 23.60 points **
For two hand touch this was a tough matchup but to make matters worse he would make a fatal mistake by starting crippled Bears superstar, Matt Forte (RB – Chi / 0.00), thus sealing his doom. It was a shame as Guns of the Navarone’s Eli Manning (QB – NYG / 1.44) and Tony Gonzales (TE – Atl / 0.95) would try to give the game away. Next week Guns of the Navarone (9-5 Reg. 1-0 Playoff) will play Boss Hogg (7-7 Reg. 1-0 Playoff) while two hand touch (7-7 Reg. 0-1 Playoff) has been eliminated from the playoffs.
** Boss Hogg DEF browns backups by 42.03 points **
In an upset against once vaunted browns backups, Boss Hogg would prove that he has what it takes to be league champion. Big games from London Fletcher (LB – Was / 23.00) and Jason Pierre-Paul (DE – NYG / 25.50) would pile it on for Boss Hogg. browns backups despite having great games from Peyton Hillis (RB – Cle / 24.65) and Michael Turner (RB – Atl / 19.25) would be dominated all day long. Next week Boss Hogg (7-7 Reg. 1-0 Playoff) will play Guns of the Navarone (9-5 Reg. 1-0 Playoff) while browns backups (10-4 Reg. 0-1 Playoff) has been eliminated from the playoffs.
** RN to the Rescue DEF PorNada by 55.58 points **
It’s almost unfair to go against someone who has both Drew Brees (QB – NO / 42.14) and Marshawn “beef moe” Lynch (RB – Sea / 24.85) but PorNada was caught in the gunsites of this mighty duo this week. PorNada’s Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 21.50) had his poorest game of the season while Denver (Def – Den / -0.50) would roll over and die without a fight. Next week RN to the Rescue (9-5 Reg. 1-0 Playoff) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (7-7 Reg. 1-0 Playoff) while PorNada (7-7 Reg. 0-1 Playoff) has been eliminated from the playoffs.
Well that’s it folks. We will have a much more in depth recap next week when we do our 2011 championship preview. Happy Holidays!
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Season 2011 Week 14 Recap
All good things must come to an end, as such with the final game of the regular season. This has been a great year for new players with only 3 owners entering the playoffs with 2010 playoff credentials. For all of those that are looking at the end of their season this week take heart, I and the rest of the league hope you had a fun time this season and come back to fight and take the trophy next year!
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** two hand touch DEF Guns of the Navarone by 2.81 points **
Guns of the Navarone had no chance against two hand touch’s Matt Ryan’s (QB – Atl / 34.10) mighty arm. In a fight that would land two hand touch the #7 seed his quarterback as well as San Diego (DEF – SD / 23.12) would let him eek out a win against #2 seed Guns of the Navarone. GotN would try to play the spoiler with a great game from running-back king Maurice Jones-Drew (RB – Jac / 45.80) while Eli Manning (QB – NYG / 21.60) would grant decent numbers. Both of these teams will be in a re-match next week with two hand touch (7-7) taking on Guns of the Navarone (9-5).
** Ron Paul 4 Lyfe DEF Sobchak Security by 5.13 points **
Two teams would enter the Thunderdome and only one would emerge. In a battle for a playoff spot Ron Paul 4 Lyfe would look towards his defensive players for a win. With high scorers Green Bay (Def – GB / 21.86) and D’Qwell Jackson (LB – Cle / 19.54) leading the way RP4L would take the #5 seed. Sobchak Security would put up great numbers from Shonn Greene (RB – NYJ / 28.10) and Chicago (Def – Chi / 19.22) but would fall short. It was to be noted that both teams had 0.00 Tight End games, weird! Next week Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (7-7) will play The Little Guy (8-5) while Sobchak Security (6-8) has been eliminated from the playoffs.
** Boss Hogg DEF RN to the Rescue by 5.76 points **
Was every playoff locked team sleeping on their laurels or what? Boss Hogg managed to nab the final playoff spot and a #8 seed with Derrick Johnson (LB – KC / 18.50) and Thomas Howard (LB – Cin / 16.50) picking up the slack for the otherwise lukewarm offensive performance. RN to the Rescue despite having Marshawn Lynch (RB – Sea / 24.15) beast mode on the Rams felt the bitter sting of defeat thanks to Mark Ingram’s (RB – NO / 0.00) non-productive game. Next week Boss Hogg (7-7) will play browns backups (10-4) while RN to the Rescue (9-5) will play PorNada (7-7).
** The Little Guy DEF Sex Panther by 10.69 points **
Sadly for Sex Panther, Matt Moore (QB – Mia / 5.55) would become a gibbering toddler after having his brain scrambled against the Eagles this weekend. Despite a great game from LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 29.80) Sex Panther would be left to huff his disgusting bits of panther while The Little Guy would lock up the #4 seed for the season. The Little Guy would benefit from Detroit (DEF – Det / 33.94) destroying their division rival the Vikings. Next week The Little Guy (8-6) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (7-7) while Sex Panther (6-8) has been eliminated from the playoffs.
** PorNada DEF Pack-Men by 11.23 points **
Despite Aaron Rodgers (QB –GB / 17.32) having his poorest QBR of the season PorNada would send Pack-Men to a season end while taking the #6 seed. Pack-Men would cheer as Mason Crosby (K – GB / 23.00) had one of his strongest games but unfortunately Jerry Jones would call down to his defensive coach and demand that Dallas (Dal – DEF / -1.30) shit the bed in an epic fashion against the Giants. Next week PorNada (7-7) will play RN to the Rescue (9-5) while Pack-Men (6-8) has been eliminated from the playoffs.
** GrNeGgSnHaM DEF browns backups by 18.55 points **
Even with GrNeGgSnHaM’s past *cough losing* record it would not deter from a exceptional win against the current #1 seed. Bringing the heat for GrNeGgSnHaM was none other than Tony Romo (QB – Dal / 32.52) and Ray Rice (RB – Bal / 25.95) who would bury the competition. browns backups was a bit on the deflated side with Greg Jennings (WR – GB / 1.50) failing to put the team on his back while Carson Palmer (QB – Oak / 8.40) showing he was worthy of a 1st and 2nd round pick this year. Despite the great game GrNeGgSnHaM (4-10) has seen the end of the year while browns backups (10-4) will play Boss Hogg (7-7).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Wildcats Rule DEF Mad Max’s Mama by 40.38 points **
Playing the spoiler Wildcats Rule was quoted as saying “If I can’t be in the playoffs well SCREWWWWW YOUUUUUU” and proved his point by dragging Mad Max’s Mama out of playoff contention. Wildcats Rule had an awesome showing from his defensive staff with 3 players hitting and surpassing the 20 point mark- Stephen Tulloch (LB – Det / 20.00), D.J. Williams (LB – Den / 21.50), and James Anderson (LB – Car / 24.00). Mad Max's Mama fought valiantly but fell short despite Ben Roethlisberger (QB – Pit / 17.20) and Philadelphia (DEF – Phi / 23.58) having great games. Next week neither team will play in the playoffs as they decided on a Rocky III style finish, knocking each other out at the end.
RON PAUL’S Stone Cold Lock of the Century of the Week:
I don’t know much about politics but I do know that RN to the Rescue is going to DOMINATE and CRUSH her opponent, PorNada. And hell! What’s the deal with that name PorNada! Is it a soup? Some sort of MEXICAN for “help me across the fence!”? RN is going to CRUSH PorNada with none other than Drew Brees throwing 5 TDs, 510 passing yards, and at least 4 souls saved before the 2 minute warning. This has been your Ron Paul Stone Cold Lock of the Century….OF THE WEEK!!!
On a serious note I hope everyone enjoyed the season and comes back again for next year’s action! Also from here on out I will only be covering playoff matches so I hope you enjoyed or at least tolerated my insane, semi-racist recaps and remember to vote Ron Paul 2012…..for an insane, lovecraftian future.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** two hand touch DEF Guns of the Navarone by 2.81 points **
Guns of the Navarone had no chance against two hand touch’s Matt Ryan’s (QB – Atl / 34.10) mighty arm. In a fight that would land two hand touch the #7 seed his quarterback as well as San Diego (DEF – SD / 23.12) would let him eek out a win against #2 seed Guns of the Navarone. GotN would try to play the spoiler with a great game from running-back king Maurice Jones-Drew (RB – Jac / 45.80) while Eli Manning (QB – NYG / 21.60) would grant decent numbers. Both of these teams will be in a re-match next week with two hand touch (7-7) taking on Guns of the Navarone (9-5).
** Ron Paul 4 Lyfe DEF Sobchak Security by 5.13 points **
Two teams would enter the Thunderdome and only one would emerge. In a battle for a playoff spot Ron Paul 4 Lyfe would look towards his defensive players for a win. With high scorers Green Bay (Def – GB / 21.86) and D’Qwell Jackson (LB – Cle / 19.54) leading the way RP4L would take the #5 seed. Sobchak Security would put up great numbers from Shonn Greene (RB – NYJ / 28.10) and Chicago (Def – Chi / 19.22) but would fall short. It was to be noted that both teams had 0.00 Tight End games, weird! Next week Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (7-7) will play The Little Guy (8-5) while Sobchak Security (6-8) has been eliminated from the playoffs.
** Boss Hogg DEF RN to the Rescue by 5.76 points **
Was every playoff locked team sleeping on their laurels or what? Boss Hogg managed to nab the final playoff spot and a #8 seed with Derrick Johnson (LB – KC / 18.50) and Thomas Howard (LB – Cin / 16.50) picking up the slack for the otherwise lukewarm offensive performance. RN to the Rescue despite having Marshawn Lynch (RB – Sea / 24.15) beast mode on the Rams felt the bitter sting of defeat thanks to Mark Ingram’s (RB – NO / 0.00) non-productive game. Next week Boss Hogg (7-7) will play browns backups (10-4) while RN to the Rescue (9-5) will play PorNada (7-7).
** The Little Guy DEF Sex Panther by 10.69 points **
Sadly for Sex Panther, Matt Moore (QB – Mia / 5.55) would become a gibbering toddler after having his brain scrambled against the Eagles this weekend. Despite a great game from LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 29.80) Sex Panther would be left to huff his disgusting bits of panther while The Little Guy would lock up the #4 seed for the season. The Little Guy would benefit from Detroit (DEF – Det / 33.94) destroying their division rival the Vikings. Next week The Little Guy (8-6) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (7-7) while Sex Panther (6-8) has been eliminated from the playoffs.
** PorNada DEF Pack-Men by 11.23 points **
Despite Aaron Rodgers (QB –GB / 17.32) having his poorest QBR of the season PorNada would send Pack-Men to a season end while taking the #6 seed. Pack-Men would cheer as Mason Crosby (K – GB / 23.00) had one of his strongest games but unfortunately Jerry Jones would call down to his defensive coach and demand that Dallas (Dal – DEF / -1.30) shit the bed in an epic fashion against the Giants. Next week PorNada (7-7) will play RN to the Rescue (9-5) while Pack-Men (6-8) has been eliminated from the playoffs.
** GrNeGgSnHaM DEF browns backups by 18.55 points **
Even with GrNeGgSnHaM’s past *cough losing* record it would not deter from a exceptional win against the current #1 seed. Bringing the heat for GrNeGgSnHaM was none other than Tony Romo (QB – Dal / 32.52) and Ray Rice (RB – Bal / 25.95) who would bury the competition. browns backups was a bit on the deflated side with Greg Jennings (WR – GB / 1.50) failing to put the team on his back while Carson Palmer (QB – Oak / 8.40) showing he was worthy of a 1st and 2nd round pick this year. Despite the great game GrNeGgSnHaM (4-10) has seen the end of the year while browns backups (10-4) will play Boss Hogg (7-7).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Wildcats Rule DEF Mad Max’s Mama by 40.38 points **
Playing the spoiler Wildcats Rule was quoted as saying “If I can’t be in the playoffs well SCREWWWWW YOUUUUUU” and proved his point by dragging Mad Max’s Mama out of playoff contention. Wildcats Rule had an awesome showing from his defensive staff with 3 players hitting and surpassing the 20 point mark- Stephen Tulloch (LB – Det / 20.00), D.J. Williams (LB – Den / 21.50), and James Anderson (LB – Car / 24.00). Mad Max's Mama fought valiantly but fell short despite Ben Roethlisberger (QB – Pit / 17.20) and Philadelphia (DEF – Phi / 23.58) having great games. Next week neither team will play in the playoffs as they decided on a Rocky III style finish, knocking each other out at the end.
RON PAUL’S Stone Cold Lock of the Century of the Week:
I don’t know much about politics but I do know that RN to the Rescue is going to DOMINATE and CRUSH her opponent, PorNada. And hell! What’s the deal with that name PorNada! Is it a soup? Some sort of MEXICAN for “help me across the fence!”? RN is going to CRUSH PorNada with none other than Drew Brees throwing 5 TDs, 510 passing yards, and at least 4 souls saved before the 2 minute warning. This has been your Ron Paul Stone Cold Lock of the Century….OF THE WEEK!!!
On a serious note I hope everyone enjoyed the season and comes back again for next year’s action! Also from here on out I will only be covering playoff matches so I hope you enjoyed or at least tolerated my insane, semi-racist recaps and remember to vote Ron Paul 2012…..for an insane, lovecraftian future.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Season 2011 Week 13 Recap
One week to go and it’s going to be a good one! With only 3 out of 8 positions still locked up the playoff scenario could change in a heartbeat. As of this review we have one 7-6 team and a massive EIGHT teams running with a 6-7 record riding on the playoff bubble. So make sure you’re not starting an IRed player or benching someone on a hotstreak. I hope for those who might be seeing an end to their season next weekend that they had a great time and come back next year to raise hell and shake the very foundations of this noble sport of Fantasy Football.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** Ron Paul 4 Lyfe DEF Guns of the Navarone by 5.06 points **
In a must win game for Ron Paul 4 Lyfe’s playoff hopes everything would ride on the back a player RP4L has routinely barred as bad, Percy Harvin (WR – Min / 25.25). Guns of the Navarone certainly didn’t lie down with great games from both Maurice Jones-Drew (RB – Jac / 26.90) and Rashard Menderhall (RB – Pit / 23.00). Next week in the stunning conclusion to a crazy season Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (6-7) will seek a playoff berth from Sobchak Security (6-7) while Guns of the Navarone (9-4) will try to play the spoiler to two hand touch (6-7).
** Pack-Men DEF two hand touch by 7.55 points **
In a very up-down game both players saw key players exceed the 20 point mark while having numerous players in the single digit category. Pack-Men’s RB squad led the way with Reggie Bush (RB – Oak / 22.00) and Beanie Wells (RB – Ari / 19.90). two hand touch’s Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 29.85) would be the only stand out player on the team. Next week both teams will be fighting for a playoff spot with Pack-Men (6-7) playing PorNada (6-7) while two hand touch (6-7) will play Guns of the Navarone (9-4).
** PorNada DEF Wildcats Rule by 15.13 points **
PorNada would continue his playoff hopes with a great win over Wildcats Rule. Despite a poor performance from Jacoby Jones (WR – Hou / 0.20) PorNada would once again be granted a win by none other then Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 35.78). Wildcats Rule would go down fighting with excellent games from Chris Johnson (RB – Ten / 31.60) and Tom Brady (QB – NE / 22.53). Next week will again bring playoff implications with PorNada (6-7) will play Pack-Men (6-7) while Wildcats Rule (5-8) will play Mad Max’s mama (6-7).
** browns backups DEF The Little Guy by 21.39 points **
So who is the better rookie QB this year? You have whatshisname from Denver and then there is the one and only Cam Newton (QB – Car / 40.58) who although led The Little Guy's, as well as the league, in points failed to deliver the win for The Little Guy. In addition browns backups' David Hawthorne (LB - Sea / 22.58) would also try to loft The Little Guy to a win but would fall short. browns backups would look to his defense for top points gainers, Curtis Lofton (LB – Atl / 19.50) and Baltimore (Def – Bal / 19.12). Next week browns backups (10-3) will continue to defend his league champion position from GrNeGgSnHaM (3-10) while The Little Guy (7-6) will attempt to seal his playoff position against Sex Panther (6-7).
** RN to the Rescue DEF Sobchak Security by 24.39 points **
This has certainly been the week of high points earners and in this matchup both owners reaped the benefits. RN to the Rescue’s Marshawn Lynch (RB – Sea / 30.40) hit “beef moe”, less commonly referred to as “beast mode” and tore down the Eagles defense while Sobchak Security’s Shonn Greene (RB – NYJ / 35.45) tried to pick up the slack for an otherwise lacking team effort. Next week RN to the Rescue (9-4) will play Boss Hogg (6-7) while Sobchak Security (6-7) will attempt to play the spoiler to Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (6-7).
** Sex Panther DEF Boss Hogg by 56.09 points **
In a boring and disappointing win for Sex Panther his team barely pulled out a win over Boss Hogg. Sadly Boss Hogg's LaRon Landry (S – Was / 0.00) and Pierre Thomas (RB – NO / 2.55) would prove to be his downfall. On the other hand Sex Panther's LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 28.15) and Roy Helu (Rb –Was / 23.60) tried their hardest to serve the great satan and succeeded. Next week Sex Panther (6-7) continues to struggle for a playoff bid against The Little Guy (7-6) while Boss Hogg (6-7) clings to hope against RN to the Rescue (9-4).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** GrNeGgSnHaM DEF Mad Max’s Mama by 64.38 points **
Deciding to use the pent-up frustration of a season lacking in wins GrNeGgSnHaM would not go out quietly in the night, would not vanish without a fight. Powered by a Ray Rice (Rb – Bal / 31.70) and Rob Gronkowski (TE – NE / 23.05) destructive duo GrNeGgSnHaM would win the day. Mad Max’s Mama try her best but only Ben Roethlisberger (QB – Pit / 17.02) and Jon McGraw (S – KC / 10.00) would exceed the double digit threshold. Next week GrNeGgSnHaM (3-10) will play browns backups (10-3) while Mad Max’s Mama (6-7) will try to nab a playoff berth against Wildcats Rule (5-8).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to none other than Cam Newton (QB – Car / 40.58) who would continue his bid for the rookie player of the season. Despite being a quarterback by trade Newton rushed for 3 touchdowns and showed that he is a better Michael Vick then Vick is! We salute you Cam Newton and your ongoing fight to defeat the 1%, Tim Tebow.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** Ron Paul 4 Lyfe DEF Guns of the Navarone by 5.06 points **
In a must win game for Ron Paul 4 Lyfe’s playoff hopes everything would ride on the back a player RP4L has routinely barred as bad, Percy Harvin (WR – Min / 25.25). Guns of the Navarone certainly didn’t lie down with great games from both Maurice Jones-Drew (RB – Jac / 26.90) and Rashard Menderhall (RB – Pit / 23.00). Next week in the stunning conclusion to a crazy season Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (6-7) will seek a playoff berth from Sobchak Security (6-7) while Guns of the Navarone (9-4) will try to play the spoiler to two hand touch (6-7).
** Pack-Men DEF two hand touch by 7.55 points **
In a very up-down game both players saw key players exceed the 20 point mark while having numerous players in the single digit category. Pack-Men’s RB squad led the way with Reggie Bush (RB – Oak / 22.00) and Beanie Wells (RB – Ari / 19.90). two hand touch’s Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 29.85) would be the only stand out player on the team. Next week both teams will be fighting for a playoff spot with Pack-Men (6-7) playing PorNada (6-7) while two hand touch (6-7) will play Guns of the Navarone (9-4).
** PorNada DEF Wildcats Rule by 15.13 points **
PorNada would continue his playoff hopes with a great win over Wildcats Rule. Despite a poor performance from Jacoby Jones (WR – Hou / 0.20) PorNada would once again be granted a win by none other then Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 35.78). Wildcats Rule would go down fighting with excellent games from Chris Johnson (RB – Ten / 31.60) and Tom Brady (QB – NE / 22.53). Next week will again bring playoff implications with PorNada (6-7) will play Pack-Men (6-7) while Wildcats Rule (5-8) will play Mad Max’s mama (6-7).
** browns backups DEF The Little Guy by 21.39 points **
So who is the better rookie QB this year? You have whatshisname from Denver and then there is the one and only Cam Newton (QB – Car / 40.58) who although led The Little Guy's, as well as the league, in points failed to deliver the win for The Little Guy. In addition browns backups' David Hawthorne (LB - Sea / 22.58) would also try to loft The Little Guy to a win but would fall short. browns backups would look to his defense for top points gainers, Curtis Lofton (LB – Atl / 19.50) and Baltimore (Def – Bal / 19.12). Next week browns backups (10-3) will continue to defend his league champion position from GrNeGgSnHaM (3-10) while The Little Guy (7-6) will attempt to seal his playoff position against Sex Panther (6-7).
** RN to the Rescue DEF Sobchak Security by 24.39 points **
This has certainly been the week of high points earners and in this matchup both owners reaped the benefits. RN to the Rescue’s Marshawn Lynch (RB – Sea / 30.40) hit “beef moe”, less commonly referred to as “beast mode” and tore down the Eagles defense while Sobchak Security’s Shonn Greene (RB – NYJ / 35.45) tried to pick up the slack for an otherwise lacking team effort. Next week RN to the Rescue (9-4) will play Boss Hogg (6-7) while Sobchak Security (6-7) will attempt to play the spoiler to Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (6-7).
** Sex Panther DEF Boss Hogg by 56.09 points **
In a boring and disappointing win for Sex Panther his team barely pulled out a win over Boss Hogg. Sadly Boss Hogg's LaRon Landry (S – Was / 0.00) and Pierre Thomas (RB – NO / 2.55) would prove to be his downfall. On the other hand Sex Panther's LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 28.15) and Roy Helu (Rb –Was / 23.60) tried their hardest to serve the great satan and succeeded. Next week Sex Panther (6-7) continues to struggle for a playoff bid against The Little Guy (7-6) while Boss Hogg (6-7) clings to hope against RN to the Rescue (9-4).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** GrNeGgSnHaM DEF Mad Max’s Mama by 64.38 points **
Deciding to use the pent-up frustration of a season lacking in wins GrNeGgSnHaM would not go out quietly in the night, would not vanish without a fight. Powered by a Ray Rice (Rb – Bal / 31.70) and Rob Gronkowski (TE – NE / 23.05) destructive duo GrNeGgSnHaM would win the day. Mad Max’s Mama try her best but only Ben Roethlisberger (QB – Pit / 17.02) and Jon McGraw (S – KC / 10.00) would exceed the double digit threshold. Next week GrNeGgSnHaM (3-10) will play browns backups (10-3) while Mad Max’s Mama (6-7) will try to nab a playoff berth against Wildcats Rule (5-8).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to none other than Cam Newton (QB – Car / 40.58) who would continue his bid for the rookie player of the season. Despite being a quarterback by trade Newton rushed for 3 touchdowns and showed that he is a better Michael Vick then Vick is! We salute you Cam Newton and your ongoing fight to defeat the 1%, Tim Tebow.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Season 2011 Week 12 Recap
Hey…what’s that? Is it the light at the end of the tunnel? With only 2 more regular season games left in the league we already have 3 out of 8 playoff spots locked up. While Guns of the Navarone, RN to the Rescue, and browns backups can afford to sit back and enjoy a margarita or two, the rest of the league will be locked in a bloodbath. The American League has virtually every remaining team sitting on the playoff bubble with 2 (6-6) teams and 3 (5-7) teams. The National League on the other hand is running the gamut with records anywhere from (2-10) up to (7-5). Hold on to your butts people, it’s going to get interesting.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** browns backups DEF PorNada by 0.42 points **
Talk about a razors edge margin! In a soul-crushing loss for PorNada and a ticket to the playoffs for browns backups this was an exciting game for both owners. PorNada once again relied on consistent Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 20.79) while an uncertain at times Willis McGahee (RB – Den / 17.35) proved to be a good choice. All of that was for nothing though when browns backups pulled out the defensive big guns with Baltimore (Def – Bal / 19.28) and Terrell Suggs (LB – Bal / 17.50) having great days. Next week browns backups (9-3) will play The Little Guy (7-5) while PorNada (5-7) will play Wildcats Rule (5-7).
** Ron Paul 4 Lyfe DEF Boss Hogg by 3.41 points **
Clinging desperately to the hopes of a playoff spot RP4L snatched victory from the hands of Boss Hogg. Despite poor games from 5 of his players RP4L’s BenJarvus Green-Ellis (RB – NE / 21.20) and Ryan Mathews (RB – SD / 18.35) picked up the slack. Boss Hogg had a surprisingly good day from St Louis (Def – StL / 21.52) but did not get the expected points from Jordy Nelson (WR – GB / 2.30). Next week Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (5-7) will play Guns of the Navarone (9-3) while Boss Hogg (6-6) will play Sex Panther (5-7).
** Sobchak Security DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 15.76 points **
I refuse to believe Tim Tebow (QB – Den / 24.11) is a real quarterback. He’s got to be a gimmick….nope…..can’t believe it. Not only did Sobchak Security benefit from his lord and savior but he also had a strong game from Rob Bironas (K – Ten / 19.50) despite a missed kick in the game. GrNeGgSnHaM continued to dig a grave with 8 players in the single digit category. Notable players on GrNeGgSnHaM’s side included Victor Cruz (WR – NYG / 22.10) and Ray Rice (RB – Bal / 15.40). Next week Sobchak Security (6-6) will play RN to the Rescue (8-4) while GrNeGgSnHaM (2-10) will play Mad Max’s Mama (6-6).
** RN to the Rescue DEF Wildcats Rule by 24.72 points **
You know what, screw Tebow. Bresus is the true savior. What a matchup with two incredibly well played quarterbacks. In the left corner was RN to the Rescue’s Drew Brees (QB – NO / 40.56) who ran a clinic on the Giants defense. In the right corner was Wildcats Rule’s Tom Brady (QB – NE / 31.52) who despite putting up great numbers fell short of Dats Who. Guess you’ll just have to go home to your supermodel wife and sob quietly into a pillow Tom. Next week RN to the Rescue (8-4) will play Sobchak Security (6-6) while Wildcats Rule (5-7) will play PorNada (5-7).
** Mad Max’s Mama DEF two hand touch by 25.01 points **
In post-game smack talk Mad Max’s Mama was quoted “my kicker sure helped me along! Defense didn’t help though…”. Well that pretty much sums it up! Mad Max’s Mama’s Sebastian Janikowski (K – Oak / 33.00) would be her top scorer by a long shot while Philadelphia (Def – Phi / -2.22) decided to put on greenman suits and drink riot punch instead of actually playing. two hand touch had a great game from Matt Ryan (QB – Atl / 28.09) but was also let down by his defense, San Diego (Def – SD / 2.74). Next week Mad Max’s Mama (6-6) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (2-10) while two hand touch (6-6) will play Pack-Men (5-7).
** Sex Panther DEF Guns of the Navarone by 30.04 points **
I’m not even going to comment on the smack talk between these two this week. Sex Panther, although with no superstars this week, won on the basis of consistency with 10 out of 12 players pulling double digit numbers. Among top scorers for Sex Panther were LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 15.05) and Billy Cundiff (K – Bal / 15.00). Guns of the Navarone was let down by an uncharacteristically bad San Francisco (Def – SF / 2.86) and a bipolar Vincent Jackson (WR – SD / 1.75). Next week Sex Panther (5-7) will play Boss Hogg (6-6) while Guns of the Navarone (9-3) will play (Edi. Note: be crushed by) Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (5-7).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Pack-Men DEF The Little Guy by 53.01 points **
Welcome to bizarro NFL, where Sexy Rexy aka Grossmania aka Rex Grossman (QB – Was / 19.33) can beat Cammy-cam-cam Cam Newton (QB – Car / 19.31) in points. Helping Pack-Men seal the deal was the poor-mans Forte, Reggie Bush (RB – Ari / 30.40). The Little Guy could only watch in horror when both Dez Bryant (WR – Dal / 2.90) and Devin Hester (WR – Chi / 0.92) had pathetic games. Next week Pack-Men (5-7) will play two hand touch (6-6) while The Little Guy (7-5) will play browns backups (9-3).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to Katrina survivor Drew Brees (QB – NO / 40.56). With 4 TDs, 0 Ints, 363 passing yards, and a passing rating of 129.6 there was no stopping this offensive juggernaut. Honestly it’s hard to make fun of the guy, even if he does like Chilis. So a toast to you Mr. Brees, may you get crushed in the NFC championship game by the Packers. Cheers!
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** browns backups DEF PorNada by 0.42 points **
Talk about a razors edge margin! In a soul-crushing loss for PorNada and a ticket to the playoffs for browns backups this was an exciting game for both owners. PorNada once again relied on consistent Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 20.79) while an uncertain at times Willis McGahee (RB – Den / 17.35) proved to be a good choice. All of that was for nothing though when browns backups pulled out the defensive big guns with Baltimore (Def – Bal / 19.28) and Terrell Suggs (LB – Bal / 17.50) having great days. Next week browns backups (9-3) will play The Little Guy (7-5) while PorNada (5-7) will play Wildcats Rule (5-7).
** Ron Paul 4 Lyfe DEF Boss Hogg by 3.41 points **
Clinging desperately to the hopes of a playoff spot RP4L snatched victory from the hands of Boss Hogg. Despite poor games from 5 of his players RP4L’s BenJarvus Green-Ellis (RB – NE / 21.20) and Ryan Mathews (RB – SD / 18.35) picked up the slack. Boss Hogg had a surprisingly good day from St Louis (Def – StL / 21.52) but did not get the expected points from Jordy Nelson (WR – GB / 2.30). Next week Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (5-7) will play Guns of the Navarone (9-3) while Boss Hogg (6-6) will play Sex Panther (5-7).
** Sobchak Security DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 15.76 points **
I refuse to believe Tim Tebow (QB – Den / 24.11) is a real quarterback. He’s got to be a gimmick….nope…..can’t believe it. Not only did Sobchak Security benefit from his lord and savior but he also had a strong game from Rob Bironas (K – Ten / 19.50) despite a missed kick in the game. GrNeGgSnHaM continued to dig a grave with 8 players in the single digit category. Notable players on GrNeGgSnHaM’s side included Victor Cruz (WR – NYG / 22.10) and Ray Rice (RB – Bal / 15.40). Next week Sobchak Security (6-6) will play RN to the Rescue (8-4) while GrNeGgSnHaM (2-10) will play Mad Max’s Mama (6-6).
** RN to the Rescue DEF Wildcats Rule by 24.72 points **
You know what, screw Tebow. Bresus is the true savior. What a matchup with two incredibly well played quarterbacks. In the left corner was RN to the Rescue’s Drew Brees (QB – NO / 40.56) who ran a clinic on the Giants defense. In the right corner was Wildcats Rule’s Tom Brady (QB – NE / 31.52) who despite putting up great numbers fell short of Dats Who. Guess you’ll just have to go home to your supermodel wife and sob quietly into a pillow Tom. Next week RN to the Rescue (8-4) will play Sobchak Security (6-6) while Wildcats Rule (5-7) will play PorNada (5-7).
** Mad Max’s Mama DEF two hand touch by 25.01 points **
In post-game smack talk Mad Max’s Mama was quoted “my kicker sure helped me along! Defense didn’t help though…”. Well that pretty much sums it up! Mad Max’s Mama’s Sebastian Janikowski (K – Oak / 33.00) would be her top scorer by a long shot while Philadelphia (Def – Phi / -2.22) decided to put on greenman suits and drink riot punch instead of actually playing. two hand touch had a great game from Matt Ryan (QB – Atl / 28.09) but was also let down by his defense, San Diego (Def – SD / 2.74). Next week Mad Max’s Mama (6-6) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (2-10) while two hand touch (6-6) will play Pack-Men (5-7).
** Sex Panther DEF Guns of the Navarone by 30.04 points **
I’m not even going to comment on the smack talk between these two this week. Sex Panther, although with no superstars this week, won on the basis of consistency with 10 out of 12 players pulling double digit numbers. Among top scorers for Sex Panther were LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 15.05) and Billy Cundiff (K – Bal / 15.00). Guns of the Navarone was let down by an uncharacteristically bad San Francisco (Def – SF / 2.86) and a bipolar Vincent Jackson (WR – SD / 1.75). Next week Sex Panther (5-7) will play Boss Hogg (6-6) while Guns of the Navarone (9-3) will play (Edi. Note: be crushed by) Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (5-7).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Pack-Men DEF The Little Guy by 53.01 points **
Welcome to bizarro NFL, where Sexy Rexy aka Grossmania aka Rex Grossman (QB – Was / 19.33) can beat Cammy-cam-cam Cam Newton (QB – Car / 19.31) in points. Helping Pack-Men seal the deal was the poor-mans Forte, Reggie Bush (RB – Ari / 30.40). The Little Guy could only watch in horror when both Dez Bryant (WR – Dal / 2.90) and Devin Hester (WR – Chi / 0.92) had pathetic games. Next week Pack-Men (5-7) will play two hand touch (6-6) while The Little Guy (7-5) will play browns backups (9-3).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to Katrina survivor Drew Brees (QB – NO / 40.56). With 4 TDs, 0 Ints, 363 passing yards, and a passing rating of 129.6 there was no stopping this offensive juggernaut. Honestly it’s hard to make fun of the guy, even if he does like Chilis. So a toast to you Mr. Brees, may you get crushed in the NFC championship game by the Packers. Cheers!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Season 2011 Week 11 Recap (sort of)
Steve's been doing a great job with recaps and had some technical difficulties, so I decided to fill in this week. Got a little lazy and it's devolved into mostly reaction .gifs. So sue me.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** Wildcats Rule DEF The Little Guy by 2.29 points **
Kyle's motley crew (not the band) almost pulled this one off - Cam Newton (QB - Car / 25.15) had another great game and LeGarrette Blount (RB - TB / 20.90) had a strong performance against a stingy Green Bay Defense:
But it was all for naught - Wildcats Rule won (somehow) thanks to relatively consistent performances from his squad. Or something.
** GrNeGgSnHaM DEF Sex Panther by 3.18 points **
Sex Panther could do no wrong this week - he beat his projected points by a dozen and was the recipient of a nearly 150-point game against a team with only one victory. It's in the bag, right?
Nope! Samantha notched up her second win of the season and dealt a nearly fatal blow to John's playoff hopes with a score that exceeded projections by almost 30 points. Sam is looking to play the spoiler here, so teams better watch out!
** Por Nada DEF Mad Max's Mama by 7.09 points **
Fresh off of her upset victory over Brown's Backups, Mad Max's Mama promptly shat the bed against division rival Por Nada.
** Two Hand Touch DEF Brown's Backups by 11.83 points **
I think this is probably how Josh feels right about now:
** RN to the Rescue DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 20.10 points **
RN to the Rescue continued her three-game winning streak by shellacking Ron Paul (despite the fact that he scored over 150 points!).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF Pack Men by 23.00 points **
Beat *me* in Madden in my own house, why doncha... It was a good game, my friend. Until next time!
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Boss Hogg DEF Sobchak Security by 79.08 points **
Good lord, what an ass-kicking.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** Wildcats Rule DEF The Little Guy by 2.29 points **
Kyle's motley crew (not the band) almost pulled this one off - Cam Newton (QB - Car / 25.15) had another great game and LeGarrette Blount (RB - TB / 20.90) had a strong performance against a stingy Green Bay Defense:
But it was all for naught - Wildcats Rule won (somehow) thanks to relatively consistent performances from his squad. Or something.
** GrNeGgSnHaM DEF Sex Panther by 3.18 points **
Sex Panther could do no wrong this week - he beat his projected points by a dozen and was the recipient of a nearly 150-point game against a team with only one victory. It's in the bag, right?
Nope! Samantha notched up her second win of the season and dealt a nearly fatal blow to John's playoff hopes with a score that exceeded projections by almost 30 points. Sam is looking to play the spoiler here, so teams better watch out!
** Por Nada DEF Mad Max's Mama by 7.09 points **
Fresh off of her upset victory over Brown's Backups, Mad Max's Mama promptly shat the bed against division rival Por Nada.
It appears that Tom Brady forgot about Welkah as Wes Welker (WR - NE / 1.60) pretty much sucked this week. Kerri claims that she should have won, but couldn't really back it up.
** Two Hand Touch DEF Brown's Backups by 11.83 points **
I think this is probably how Josh feels right about now:
But truthfully this game was a low-scoring affair. Ultimately Rex's squad put it all back together.
** RN to the Rescue DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 20.10 points **
RN to the Rescue continued her three-game winning streak by shellacking Ron Paul (despite the fact that he scored over 150 points!).
With that, a perennial league powerhouse has his playoff hopes dimmed a little further. But there's always next year, Steve - and you can always look to play the spoiler!
** Guns of the Navarone DEF Pack Men by 23.00 points **
Beat *me* in Madden in my own house, why doncha... It was a good game, my friend. Until next time!
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Boss Hogg DEF Sobchak Security by 79.08 points **
Good lord, what an ass-kicking.
Well, that's all I got kids. It's bedtime and I'm lazy. Be happy for what you get!
One more, just because I think it's funny:
Good night!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Season 2011 Week 10 Recap
That’s it! Screw Jeff and his fancy calculations! I feel I am ready to predict the winner of Unnatural Positions 2011 League. And the winner is…..oh who am I kidding it’s going to be a battle of Guns of the Navarone and browns backups. Everyone else should just give up and go home. Accept your fate or fight to live another day managers! Don’t let evil prevail.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** Ron Paul 4 Lyfe DEF Wildcats Rule by 1.54 points **
In a very close game RP4L would prevail with, surprise, his wide-receiving duo! Producing the most points for his team RP4L would look at none other then Larry Fitzgerald (WR – Ari / 21.05) to bail his butt out against a strong opponent. Wildcats Rule could not overcome the opposition despite strong games from Tom Brady (QB – NE / 28.78) and Chris Johnson (RB – Ten / 29.20). Next week Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (4-6) will play RN to the Rescue (6-4) while Wildcats Rule (5-5) will play The Little Guy (6-4).
** Mad Max’s Mama DEF browns backups by 2.96 points **
Ok I feel guilty. Initially I automatically had browns backups defeating MMM….consider it muscle memory at this point in time. MMM saw the promised land when Michael Bush (RB – Oak / 33.65) put out extraordinary numbers with Patrick Willis (LB – SF / 19.50) pulling his own weight. browns backups had an overall consistent game but only had one player breach the 20 point barrier, David Akers (K – SF / 23.50). Next week Mad Max’s Mama (5-5) will play PorNada (4-6) while browns backups (8-2) will play two hand touch (5-5).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF Boss Hogg by 11.08 points **
GotN should have been sweating from such poor WR play but thanks to his RB disastrous duo, Maurice Jones-Drew (RB – Jac / 26.10) and Rashard Mendenhall (RB – Pit / 23.75), he continues to reign supreme in his division. Boss Hogg felt the hurt from Jay Cutler (QB – Chi / 4.26) but had a ray of hope from DeMarco Murray (RB – Dal / 26.05). Next week Guns of the Navarone (8-2) will try to continue his dominance against Pack-Men (4-6) while Boss Hogg (5-5) will play Sobchak Security (5-5).
** RN to the Rescue DEF Sex Panther by 14.56 points **
So like any good rival Sex Panther saw Ron Paul 4 Lyfe’s record and felt like parity was needed, surely that’s why 7 of his players decided to give him sub-10 point games. Sex Panther felt the disappointing sting of defeat thanks to Roddy White (WR – Atl / 4.10) and James Harrison (LB – Pit / 5.00). RN on the other hand saw Marshawn Lynch (RB – Sea / 31.60) hit “beast mode” while Joshua Cribbs (WR – Cle / 3.56) decided to sit at home to watch Meet the Press. Next week RN to the Rescue (6-4) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (4-6) while Sex Panther (4-6) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-9).
** Sobchak Security DEF Pack-Men by 18.02 points **
There was no doubt that going against the strongest defensive showing I have ever seen in this league Pack-Men would taste bitter defeat. Holy smokes! SS’s Chicago (DEF – Chi / 44.88) just dominated despite Stevie Johnson's (WR – Buf / 0.90) lame showing! Pack-Men fought hard with points leaders Dallas (Def – Dal / 21.08) and Navorro Bowman (LB – SF / 21.50). Next week Sobchak Security (5-5) will play Boss Hogg (5-5) while Pack-Men (4-6) will play Guns of the Navarone (8-2).
** The Little Guy DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 22.48 points **
Ouch! Despite a strong game from Tony Romo (QB – Dal / 26.70) GrNeGgSnHaM felt the bite of defeat once again from 9 of their players falling under the 10 point mark. The Little Guy saw his lead point earners emerge from his defensive corp this week. Roman Harper (S – NO / 22.00) and Charles Woodson (CB – GB / 14.00) were among his top point earners. Next week The Little Guy (6-4) will play Wildcats Rule (5-5) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-9) will continue to look for the elusive win against Sex Panther (4-6).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** PorNada DEF two hand touch by 46.83 points **
Did someone get the number off that truck? Oh god who is that twisted corpse in the road!? Is it two hand touch? Oh the humanity! What’s there to say…PorNada’s Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 35.35) continues to be one of the most productive QBs in the league while John Kasay (K – NO / 24.00) kicks wins left and right. two hand touch had an awesome game from Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 30.80) but could not offset the anemic performance from the rest of his squad. Next week PorNada (4-6) will play Mad Max’s Mama (5-5) while two hand touch (5-5) will play browns backups (8-2).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW should go to the king of deep dish pizzas and mobsters, Chicago (Def – Chi / 44.88)! I’m not much for this communism stuff but in this case the proletariat came through and delivered an insane performance against a longtime rival, Detroit. Way to give the Packers, the very ideal of socialism, a larger lead in the NFC! Welcome comrades to another controlled, anti- free market dominated season…I hope you are all happy!
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** Ron Paul 4 Lyfe DEF Wildcats Rule by 1.54 points **
In a very close game RP4L would prevail with, surprise, his wide-receiving duo! Producing the most points for his team RP4L would look at none other then Larry Fitzgerald (WR – Ari / 21.05) to bail his butt out against a strong opponent. Wildcats Rule could not overcome the opposition despite strong games from Tom Brady (QB – NE / 28.78) and Chris Johnson (RB – Ten / 29.20). Next week Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (4-6) will play RN to the Rescue (6-4) while Wildcats Rule (5-5) will play The Little Guy (6-4).
** Mad Max’s Mama DEF browns backups by 2.96 points **
Ok I feel guilty. Initially I automatically had browns backups defeating MMM….consider it muscle memory at this point in time. MMM saw the promised land when Michael Bush (RB – Oak / 33.65) put out extraordinary numbers with Patrick Willis (LB – SF / 19.50) pulling his own weight. browns backups had an overall consistent game but only had one player breach the 20 point barrier, David Akers (K – SF / 23.50). Next week Mad Max’s Mama (5-5) will play PorNada (4-6) while browns backups (8-2) will play two hand touch (5-5).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF Boss Hogg by 11.08 points **
GotN should have been sweating from such poor WR play but thanks to his RB disastrous duo, Maurice Jones-Drew (RB – Jac / 26.10) and Rashard Mendenhall (RB – Pit / 23.75), he continues to reign supreme in his division. Boss Hogg felt the hurt from Jay Cutler (QB – Chi / 4.26) but had a ray of hope from DeMarco Murray (RB – Dal / 26.05). Next week Guns of the Navarone (8-2) will try to continue his dominance against Pack-Men (4-6) while Boss Hogg (5-5) will play Sobchak Security (5-5).
** RN to the Rescue DEF Sex Panther by 14.56 points **
So like any good rival Sex Panther saw Ron Paul 4 Lyfe’s record and felt like parity was needed, surely that’s why 7 of his players decided to give him sub-10 point games. Sex Panther felt the disappointing sting of defeat thanks to Roddy White (WR – Atl / 4.10) and James Harrison (LB – Pit / 5.00). RN on the other hand saw Marshawn Lynch (RB – Sea / 31.60) hit “beast mode” while Joshua Cribbs (WR – Cle / 3.56) decided to sit at home to watch Meet the Press. Next week RN to the Rescue (6-4) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (4-6) while Sex Panther (4-6) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-9).
** Sobchak Security DEF Pack-Men by 18.02 points **
There was no doubt that going against the strongest defensive showing I have ever seen in this league Pack-Men would taste bitter defeat. Holy smokes! SS’s Chicago (DEF – Chi / 44.88) just dominated despite Stevie Johnson's (WR – Buf / 0.90) lame showing! Pack-Men fought hard with points leaders Dallas (Def – Dal / 21.08) and Navorro Bowman (LB – SF / 21.50). Next week Sobchak Security (5-5) will play Boss Hogg (5-5) while Pack-Men (4-6) will play Guns of the Navarone (8-2).
** The Little Guy DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 22.48 points **
Ouch! Despite a strong game from Tony Romo (QB – Dal / 26.70) GrNeGgSnHaM felt the bite of defeat once again from 9 of their players falling under the 10 point mark. The Little Guy saw his lead point earners emerge from his defensive corp this week. Roman Harper (S – NO / 22.00) and Charles Woodson (CB – GB / 14.00) were among his top point earners. Next week The Little Guy (6-4) will play Wildcats Rule (5-5) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-9) will continue to look for the elusive win against Sex Panther (4-6).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** PorNada DEF two hand touch by 46.83 points **
Did someone get the number off that truck? Oh god who is that twisted corpse in the road!? Is it two hand touch? Oh the humanity! What’s there to say…PorNada’s Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 35.35) continues to be one of the most productive QBs in the league while John Kasay (K – NO / 24.00) kicks wins left and right. two hand touch had an awesome game from Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 30.80) but could not offset the anemic performance from the rest of his squad. Next week PorNada (4-6) will play Mad Max’s Mama (5-5) while two hand touch (5-5) will play browns backups (8-2).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW should go to the king of deep dish pizzas and mobsters, Chicago (Def – Chi / 44.88)! I’m not much for this communism stuff but in this case the proletariat came through and delivered an insane performance against a longtime rival, Detroit. Way to give the Packers, the very ideal of socialism, a larger lead in the NFC! Welcome comrades to another controlled, anti- free market dominated season…I hope you are all happy!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Projections for the rest of the season
We're in the midst of the final 5 weeks before the playoffs, and you'll remember that last week I posted some strength-of-schedule analysis that I now think is bunk.
I re-did the numbers not based on wins (which are almost arbitrary) but based on the point averages in the last four weeks. This helps to give a number based on recent performance as opposed to overall performance (does week one matter anymore?) or wins (a team who had a tough start might still be a strong opponent this week). Based on these numbers, the team strength ratings are as follows:
I re-did the numbers not based on wins (which are almost arbitrary) but based on the point averages in the last four weeks. This helps to give a number based on recent performance as opposed to overall performance (does week one matter anymore?) or wins (a team who had a tough start might still be a strong opponent this week). Based on these numbers, the team strength ratings are as follows:
So what does this mean? It means that even though he's relatively low in the rankings, Sex Panther has the 5th highest point totals in the last four weeks - certainly a stronger opponent than he might appear based on record. Boss Hogg is another good example of this.
Based on these numbers and the remaining opponents, I have determined the projected rankings as follows:
As I've said before, it doesn't look like anybody is going to stop Brown's Backups. Josh's team only seems to have two possible challengers - week 11 vs Two Hand Touch and week 12 vs Por Nada. But of course, anything can happen. There are some challenges with this model, however - week 12 shows a matchup between the Little Guy (average 120.80) and Pack Men (average 120.87). I certainly wouldn't call that a certain win for either team - so I wrote those close ones up as a projected tie. With only 5 weeks left and two games between the number 3 and number 11 teams, this provides a pretty large margin of error.
...And, as always - this means little as the game can change so much in a short period of time. I'll revisit this at the end of the season to see how accurate it was. Good luck in the last 5 games!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Season 2011 Week 09 Recap
Don’t forget kids! This week is the start of Thursday night football! So make sure you load up on plenty of San Diego and Raiders players….trust me!
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** browns backups DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 3.87 points **
It was another tough loss for RP4L but there was hope….hope in the fact that maybe his team isn’t as bad as he once thought. Despite strong games for RP4L’s Matt Hasselbeck (QB – Ten / 20.99) and Darren Sproles (RB – NO / 17.08) browns backups would eek out the win with Mike Tolbert (RB – SD / 23.60) and David Akers (K – SF / 23.00). Should have started that Green Bay defense Steve! Next week browns backups (8-1) will play Mad Max’s Mama (4-5) while Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-6) will play Wildcats Rule (5-4).
** Mad Max’s Mama DEF The Little Guy by 7.28 points **
So despite both teams having 0.00 earning wide recievers, Mad Max’s Mama pulled off the win against a mediocre The Little Guy showing. Mad Max’s Mama may have had a windfall from Patrick Willis (LB – SF / 27.50) who continues to impress as a prime points generator. The Little Guy's top scorer this week was Neil Rackers (K – Hou / 19.50) who may be one of the most consistent kickers in the league. Next week Mad Max’s Mama (4-5) will play browns backups (8-1) while The Little Guy (5-4) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-8).
** Wildcats Rule DEF Sobchak Security by 19.33 points **
Not even the heavenly disciple, Tim Tebow (QB – Den / 27.38) could save Sobchak Security from this defeat. Wildcats Rule would rely on his RB squad, Steven Jackson (RB – StL / 21.85) and Chris Johnson (RB – Ten / 13.50), to lead him to victory this week. Aside from Tebow, Sobchak only saw a decent game from Shonn Greene (RB – NYJ / 13.30). Next week Wildcats Rule (5-4) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-6) while Sobchak Security (4-5) will play Pack-Men (4-5).
** two hand touch DEF Sex Panther by 25.26 points **
It would be a battle of the cripples between these two team’s defenses. two hand touch’s Kansas City (Def – KC / 0.90) could simply not out-retard Sex Panther’s Oakland (Def – Oak / 0.04) this week. two hand touch’s Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 25.75) would again prove instrumental in this win. Sex Panther’s LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 21.10) could just not pick up the slack. Next week two hand touch (5-4) will play PorNada (3-6) while Sex Panther (4-5) will play RN to the Rescue (5-4).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 27.98 points **
GrNeGgSnHaM could have had this one if his entire defensive team had not generated a whole 13.00 points! GotN coasted on a strong game from Vincent Jackson (WR – SD / 26.80) while Eli Manning (QB – NYG / 19.05) continued to be the superior Manning. GrNeGgSnHaM had strong games from Tony Romo (QB – Dal / 21.63) and Ray Rice (RB – Bal / 20.55) but again with the poor play from his defensive squad it would have been surprising to see a win. Next week Guns of the Navarone (7-2) will play Boss Hogg (5-4) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-8) will play The Little Guy (5-4).
** RN to the Rescue DEF PorNada by 28.90 points **
One would think that starting a QB like Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 37.64) would lead to an instant victory, not so this time. Despite a strong QB showing PorNada felt the dagger when his WR corp of Deion Branch (WR – NE / 1.55) and Devin Hester (WR – Chi / 1.83) failed to produce. RN to the Rescue was gifted with great games from Marshawn Lynch (RB – Sea / 24.90) and Arizona (Def – Ari / 27.00). Next week RN to the Rescue (5-4) will play Sex Panther (4-5) while PorNada (3-6) will play two hand touch (5-4).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Boss Hogg DEF Pack-Men by 29.57 points **
Despite one writer’s opinion *ahmm* Pack-Men decided to stick it out with a now crippled Dallas Clark (TE – Ind / 1.55), DROP HIM drop him DROP HIM drop him DROP HIM! In this AKOTW Boss Hogg put another victory under his belt with strong games from DeMarco Murray (RB – Dal / 21.30) and Jay Cutler (QB – Chi / 18.46 / 5.8% A1C). Pack-Men could not get a bipolar Michael Vick (QB – Phi / 10.06) to produce him enough points for a win. Next week Boss Hogg (5-4) will play Guns of the Navarone (7-2) while Pack-Men (4-5) will play Sobchak Security (4-5).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW should go to Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 37.64) but he’s one to share the wealth so it looks like it’s going to Willis McGahee (RB – Den / 30.15) who PorNada unfortunately subbed out for Ryan Torain (RB – Was / 1.20)….ouch! McGahee, despite a nagging hand injury, showed off his “can-do” attitude and showed that he didn’t need a hand-out, a true boot-straps kind of guy!
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** browns backups DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 3.87 points **
It was another tough loss for RP4L but there was hope….hope in the fact that maybe his team isn’t as bad as he once thought. Despite strong games for RP4L’s Matt Hasselbeck (QB – Ten / 20.99) and Darren Sproles (RB – NO / 17.08) browns backups would eek out the win with Mike Tolbert (RB – SD / 23.60) and David Akers (K – SF / 23.00). Should have started that Green Bay defense Steve! Next week browns backups (8-1) will play Mad Max’s Mama (4-5) while Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-6) will play Wildcats Rule (5-4).
** Mad Max’s Mama DEF The Little Guy by 7.28 points **
So despite both teams having 0.00 earning wide recievers, Mad Max’s Mama pulled off the win against a mediocre The Little Guy showing. Mad Max’s Mama may have had a windfall from Patrick Willis (LB – SF / 27.50) who continues to impress as a prime points generator. The Little Guy's top scorer this week was Neil Rackers (K – Hou / 19.50) who may be one of the most consistent kickers in the league. Next week Mad Max’s Mama (4-5) will play browns backups (8-1) while The Little Guy (5-4) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-8).
** Wildcats Rule DEF Sobchak Security by 19.33 points **
Not even the heavenly disciple, Tim Tebow (QB – Den / 27.38) could save Sobchak Security from this defeat. Wildcats Rule would rely on his RB squad, Steven Jackson (RB – StL / 21.85) and Chris Johnson (RB – Ten / 13.50), to lead him to victory this week. Aside from Tebow, Sobchak only saw a decent game from Shonn Greene (RB – NYJ / 13.30). Next week Wildcats Rule (5-4) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-6) while Sobchak Security (4-5) will play Pack-Men (4-5).
** two hand touch DEF Sex Panther by 25.26 points **
It would be a battle of the cripples between these two team’s defenses. two hand touch’s Kansas City (Def – KC / 0.90) could simply not out-retard Sex Panther’s Oakland (Def – Oak / 0.04) this week. two hand touch’s Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 25.75) would again prove instrumental in this win. Sex Panther’s LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 21.10) could just not pick up the slack. Next week two hand touch (5-4) will play PorNada (3-6) while Sex Panther (4-5) will play RN to the Rescue (5-4).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 27.98 points **
GrNeGgSnHaM could have had this one if his entire defensive team had not generated a whole 13.00 points! GotN coasted on a strong game from Vincent Jackson (WR – SD / 26.80) while Eli Manning (QB – NYG / 19.05) continued to be the superior Manning. GrNeGgSnHaM had strong games from Tony Romo (QB – Dal / 21.63) and Ray Rice (RB – Bal / 20.55) but again with the poor play from his defensive squad it would have been surprising to see a win. Next week Guns of the Navarone (7-2) will play Boss Hogg (5-4) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-8) will play The Little Guy (5-4).
** RN to the Rescue DEF PorNada by 28.90 points **
One would think that starting a QB like Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 37.64) would lead to an instant victory, not so this time. Despite a strong QB showing PorNada felt the dagger when his WR corp of Deion Branch (WR – NE / 1.55) and Devin Hester (WR – Chi / 1.83) failed to produce. RN to the Rescue was gifted with great games from Marshawn Lynch (RB – Sea / 24.90) and Arizona (Def – Ari / 27.00). Next week RN to the Rescue (5-4) will play Sex Panther (4-5) while PorNada (3-6) will play two hand touch (5-4).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Boss Hogg DEF Pack-Men by 29.57 points **
Despite one writer’s opinion *ahmm* Pack-Men decided to stick it out with a now crippled Dallas Clark (TE – Ind / 1.55), DROP HIM drop him DROP HIM drop him DROP HIM! In this AKOTW Boss Hogg put another victory under his belt with strong games from DeMarco Murray (RB – Dal / 21.30) and Jay Cutler (QB – Chi / 18.46 / 5.8% A1C). Pack-Men could not get a bipolar Michael Vick (QB – Phi / 10.06) to produce him enough points for a win. Next week Boss Hogg (5-4) will play Guns of the Navarone (7-2) while Pack-Men (4-5) will play Sobchak Security (4-5).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW should go to Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 37.64) but he’s one to share the wealth so it looks like it’s going to Willis McGahee (RB – Den / 30.15) who PorNada unfortunately subbed out for Ryan Torain (RB – Was / 1.20)….ouch! McGahee, despite a nagging hand injury, showed off his “can-do” attitude and showed that he didn’t need a hand-out, a true boot-straps kind of guy!
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Remaining strength of schedule - who's got the inside track?
Managers,
First I’d like to thank Steve (RonPaul4Lyfe)
for taking on the tedious job of writing the recaps. It’s not fun, but we all enjoy them!
I wanted to interject here because there are
6 pivotal games remaining until the playoffs and I thought it would be
interesting to see who’s got the toughest road ahead of them. First, the standings:
|
Rank
|
Team
|
W-L-T
|
Pct
|
Div
|
Pts For
|
Pts Against
|
Streak
|
Waiver
|
Moves
|
|
American League |
|
||||||||
|
2.
|
6-2-0
|
.750
|
2-1-0
|
1245.27
|
1030.89
|
W-2
|
13
|
36
|
|
|
4.
|
4-4-0
|
.500
|
2-1-0
|
1079.10
|
1069.50
|
W-1
|
11
|
41
|
|
|
5.
|
4-4-0
|
.500
|
0-1-0
|
1074.42
|
1049.95
|
W-2
|
10
|
13
|
|
|
7.
|
4-4-0
|
.500
|
1-2-0
|
1037.17
|
1014.41
|
W-3
|
8
|
21
|
|
|
9.
|
4-4-0
|
.500
|
1-1-0
|
941.51
|
1078.53
|
L-1
|
6
|
18
|
|
|
10.
|
4-4-0
|
.500
|
1-0-0
|
940.82
|
990.66
|
W-1
|
5
|
32
|
|
|
11.
|
3-5-0
|
.375
|
0-1-0
|
1019.11
|
1110.49
|
L-4
|
4
|
34
|
|
|
National League |
|
||||||||
|
1.
|
7-1-0
|
.875
|
1-0-0
|
1122.98
|
966.51
|
L-1
|
14
|
21
|
|
|
3.
|
5-3-0
|
.625
|
2-0-0
|
1023.30
|
971.17
|
W-1
|
12
|
18
|
|
|
6.
|
4-4-0
|
.500
|
1-2-0
|
1055.81
|
1020.67
|
W-1
|
9
|
24
|
|
|
8.
|
4-4-0
|
.500
|
1-1-0
|
995.68
|
978.84
|
L-1
|
7
|
17
|
|
|
12.
|
3-5-0
|
.375
|
2-1-0
|
1005.07
|
1112.98
|
L-1
|
3
|
85
|
|
|
13.
|
3-5-0
|
.375
|
0-1-0
|
992.30
|
1053.80
|
L-2
|
2
|
10
|
|
|
14.
|
1-7-0
|
.125
|
0-2-0
|
954.22
|
1038.36
|
L-6
|
1
|
19
|
|
There are a ton of teams floating at 4-4,
which means that every game is crucial.
Remember, the playoffs are based solely on record (with exception of the
winners of the two divisions, which automatically get the #1 and #2 seeds,
regardless of where they rank league-wide).
Based on the current standings, the strength of remaining schedule is
pretty easy to determine (starting with the easiest):
#1
– Brown’s Backups – [19-29]
That’s right, folks – the team with the
easiest remaining schedule is the team who has been whooping most of our asses
already this season. Josh is looking at
a pretty clear path to a first-place seeding in the playoffs.
#2
– Guns of the Navarone and Sobchak Security – [20-28]
If I had to choose who had the easier
schedule between these two, it would be tough – both teams are playing against
teams on their way up, like Pack-Men, Sex Panther and Boss Hogg
#3
– RN to the Rescue and Wildcats Rule – [22-26]
Megan has a little bit of work cut out for
her, as she still has to play the resurgent Wildcats Rule before the season is
through. Wildcats Rule has to make it
through The Little Guy, as well.
#4
– The Little Guy – [23-25]
Kyle has had a good season so far, but his
strength of schedule is deceiving – he’s got some of the weakest teams in the
upcoming weeks, but he’s also got juggernaut Brown’s Backups and the recently
hot Wildcats Rule. He’s got a two-week
easy schedule with four hellacious weeks to top off the regular season.
#5
– Sex Panther and Mad Max’s Mama – [24-24]
These two share a number of opponents, so it
makes sense that their SOS is the same.
Sex Panther has some challenges with Guns of the Navarone, while Mad
Max’s Mama is still yet to play the Kanadian Killer, Brown’s Backups.
#6
– PorNada and Boss Hogg – [25-23]
These guys both have only one remaining
opponent with a losing record. PorNada
has yet to play Brown’s Backups and Boss Hogg has yet to play Guns of the
Navarone (though he’s the only team to have beaten Brown’s Backups, so he’s
going to be a tough one!)
#7
– Pack Men – [26-22]
Like the above teams, Brett only has one
upcoming opponent with a losing record – and he also has to play Guns of the
Navarone and The Little Guy.
#8
– Two Hand Touch – [27-21]
Although Rex has two 3-5 teams ahead of him,
he also has Brown’s Backups, Guns of the Navarone, Sex Panther and Pack-Men.
#9
– GrNeGgSnHaM and RonPaul4Lyfe – [29-19]
Samantha has five of the top six teams in the league on her schedule. Steve does not have a single opponent left with a losing record. Good luck, you two!
Samantha has five of the top six teams in the league on her schedule. Steve does not have a single opponent left with a losing record. Good luck, you two!
But, as we’ve seen in seasons past – anything
can happen. An injury to your opponent’s
superstar or your running back’s teammate can catapult you into the top of the
league! Keep on plucking away and set
some records! Earn some respect! And don’t lose hope! (Except for you, Steve –
you’re screwed).
Thanks for a great season so far, guys!
- Jeff
Season 2011 Week 08 Recap
The King is dead. Long live the King! browns backups was finally delivered a loss this week, thus ending the last undefeated team. Who will snatch victory from the face of defeat in the end? Will it be a perennial winner or will it be the lovable loser? Only time will tell!
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** The Little Guy DEF RN to the Rescue by 18.83 points **
The Little Guy landed the 1-2 punch to RN to the Rescue with stunning games from Cam Newton (QB – Car / 27.65) and Detroit (DEF – Det / 33.60) which would overcome his ailing WR squad this week. RN to the Rescue, although having points earners through her entire team did not have any strikeout performances and had top points earners in Arizona (Def – Ari / 18.56) and Marshawn Lynch (RB – Sea / 13.20). Next week The Little Guy (5-3) plays Mad Max’s Mama (3-5) while RN to the Rescue (4-4) plays PorNada (3-5).
** Pack-Men DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 19.85 points **
Pulling a necessary victory Pack-Men’s Michael Vick (QB – Phi / 25.68) and Tennessee (Def – Ten / 23.78) overcame his opponent in a convincing fashion. GrNeGgSnHaM still struggles to find that elusive second win even with great games from Ray Rice (RB – Bal / 33.70) and Nick Novak (K – SD / 21.00). Next week Pack-Men (4-4) will play Boss Hogg (4-4) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-7) will play Guns of the Navarone (6-2).
** Boss Hogg DEF browns backups by 20.83 points **
In an uncharacteristic low scoring game from browns backups Boss Hogg finally takes the undefeated giant down. Boss Hogg has only his defensive game to thank with London Fletcher (LB – Was / 30.00), Derrick Johnson (LB – KC / 24.04), and Reggie Nelson (S – Cin / 21.50) piling on the points. browns backups sputtered with poor performances from Sean Lee (LB – Dal / 0.00) and Steve Breaston (WR – KC / 2.85). Next week Boss Hogg (4-4) will play Pack-Men (4-4) while browns backups (7-1) will play garbage fire Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-5).
** Wildcats Rule DEF two hand touch by 32.05 points **
Over and over I prattle on about consistency but Wildcats Rule’s win relied on it once again. With 9 players producing double digit scores Wildcats Rule’s top earners, Steven Jackson (RB – StL / 35.05) and Scott Chandler (TE – Buf / 14.25) led his team to victory. Unfortunately for two hand touch Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 30.45) could not offset an otherwise “meh” defensive showing. Next week Wildcats Rule (4-4) will play Sobchak Security (4-4) while two hand touch (4-4) will play Sex Panther (4-4).
** Sobchak Security DEF PorNada by 39.10 points **
Soooo PorNada…..you might want to start a QB next week, might be a little productive. Minus a QB PorNada practically gave away the game with an addition poor performance from Brandon Jacobs (RB – NYG / 2.75). Too bad considering the strong game from Cincinnati (Def – Cin / 32.98). Sobchak Security answered quickly with Buffalo (Def – Buf / 28.44) and Tim Tebow (QB – Den / 15.39) throwing dirt onto the grave. Next week Sobchak Security (4-4) will play Wildcats Rule (4-4) while PorNada (3-5) will play RN to the Rescue (4-4).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF Mad Max’s Mama by 42.01 points **
In a battle of the spouses GotN would reign supreme in this most domestic dispute. Despite strong performance from both team’s QBs, Eli Manning (QB – NYG / 23.93) and Ben Roethlisberger (QB – Pit / 21.95), it would be Maurice Jones *hyphenated* Drew (RB – Jac / 18.95) that would bring the crushing blow. Next week Guns of the Navarone (6-2) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-7) while Mad Max’s Mama (3-5) will play The Little Guy (5-3).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Sex Panther DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 56.24 points **
In a scene reminiscent of The Human Centipede Sex Panther would have been “Subject A” while RP4L would certainly have been “Subject C”, eat that shit Steve, eat it good. Every one of Sex Panther’s defensive players would yield double-digit scores but LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 37.50) would provide that punishing blow to Steve’s ego. RP4L had *surprising* shit-tacular days from Demaryius Thomas (WR – Den / 0.75) and Dan Bailey (K – Dal / 1.00). Next week Sex Panther (4-4) will play two hand touch (4-4) while Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-5) will play browns backups (7-1).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 37.50) who has had 58 carries in his last two games. Producing at minimum 14.60 points per game this season and really showing how a man can “bootstrap” his way up to elite status. Next week he faces Chicago….my condolences Urlacher.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** The Little Guy DEF RN to the Rescue by 18.83 points **
The Little Guy landed the 1-2 punch to RN to the Rescue with stunning games from Cam Newton (QB – Car / 27.65) and Detroit (DEF – Det / 33.60) which would overcome his ailing WR squad this week. RN to the Rescue, although having points earners through her entire team did not have any strikeout performances and had top points earners in Arizona (Def – Ari / 18.56) and Marshawn Lynch (RB – Sea / 13.20). Next week The Little Guy (5-3) plays Mad Max’s Mama (3-5) while RN to the Rescue (4-4) plays PorNada (3-5).
** Pack-Men DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 19.85 points **
Pulling a necessary victory Pack-Men’s Michael Vick (QB – Phi / 25.68) and Tennessee (Def – Ten / 23.78) overcame his opponent in a convincing fashion. GrNeGgSnHaM still struggles to find that elusive second win even with great games from Ray Rice (RB – Bal / 33.70) and Nick Novak (K – SD / 21.00). Next week Pack-Men (4-4) will play Boss Hogg (4-4) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-7) will play Guns of the Navarone (6-2).
** Boss Hogg DEF browns backups by 20.83 points **
In an uncharacteristic low scoring game from browns backups Boss Hogg finally takes the undefeated giant down. Boss Hogg has only his defensive game to thank with London Fletcher (LB – Was / 30.00), Derrick Johnson (LB – KC / 24.04), and Reggie Nelson (S – Cin / 21.50) piling on the points. browns backups sputtered with poor performances from Sean Lee (LB – Dal / 0.00) and Steve Breaston (WR – KC / 2.85). Next week Boss Hogg (4-4) will play Pack-Men (4-4) while browns backups (7-1) will play garbage fire Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-5).
** Wildcats Rule DEF two hand touch by 32.05 points **
Over and over I prattle on about consistency but Wildcats Rule’s win relied on it once again. With 9 players producing double digit scores Wildcats Rule’s top earners, Steven Jackson (RB – StL / 35.05) and Scott Chandler (TE – Buf / 14.25) led his team to victory. Unfortunately for two hand touch Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 30.45) could not offset an otherwise “meh” defensive showing. Next week Wildcats Rule (4-4) will play Sobchak Security (4-4) while two hand touch (4-4) will play Sex Panther (4-4).
** Sobchak Security DEF PorNada by 39.10 points **
Soooo PorNada…..you might want to start a QB next week, might be a little productive. Minus a QB PorNada practically gave away the game with an addition poor performance from Brandon Jacobs (RB – NYG / 2.75). Too bad considering the strong game from Cincinnati (Def – Cin / 32.98). Sobchak Security answered quickly with Buffalo (Def – Buf / 28.44) and Tim Tebow (QB – Den / 15.39) throwing dirt onto the grave. Next week Sobchak Security (4-4) will play Wildcats Rule (4-4) while PorNada (3-5) will play RN to the Rescue (4-4).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF Mad Max’s Mama by 42.01 points **
In a battle of the spouses GotN would reign supreme in this most domestic dispute. Despite strong performance from both team’s QBs, Eli Manning (QB – NYG / 23.93) and Ben Roethlisberger (QB – Pit / 21.95), it would be Maurice Jones *hyphenated* Drew (RB – Jac / 18.95) that would bring the crushing blow. Next week Guns of the Navarone (6-2) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-7) while Mad Max’s Mama (3-5) will play The Little Guy (5-3).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Sex Panther DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 56.24 points **
In a scene reminiscent of The Human Centipede Sex Panther would have been “Subject A” while RP4L would certainly have been “Subject C”, eat that shit Steve, eat it good. Every one of Sex Panther’s defensive players would yield double-digit scores but LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 37.50) would provide that punishing blow to Steve’s ego. RP4L had *surprising* shit-tacular days from Demaryius Thomas (WR – Den / 0.75) and Dan Bailey (K – Dal / 1.00). Next week Sex Panther (4-4) will play two hand touch (4-4) while Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-5) will play browns backups (7-1).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 37.50) who has had 58 carries in his last two games. Producing at minimum 14.60 points per game this season and really showing how a man can “bootstrap” his way up to elite status. Next week he faces Chicago….my condolences Urlacher.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Season 2011 Week 07 Recap
Another week in the NFL and the “suck for Luck” campaign is in full throttle. Who will it be? Will the Dolphins continue to burn through quarterbacks like kindling or perhaps the Colts truly are a terrible team without Manning? Or maybe perennial losers like the Rams or the Cardinals will show the world how to be a proper terrible team? As for the league there were few shakeups. browns backups continues to pave his way to an undefeated season while Guns of the Navarone continues to rule the American league…so boring *yawn*.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** Sobchak Security DEF Mad Max’s Mama by 10.32 points **
Things looked promising for Mad Max’s Mama with Ben Roethlisberger (QB – Pit / 28.72) pulling a strong game but things turned sour when both of her wide recievers, Hines Ward (WR – Pit / 1.80) and Nate Burleson (WR – Det / 1.80), failed to be productive. Sobchak Security saw great games from Adrian Peterson (RB – Min / 27.00) and Shonn Greene (RB – NYJ / 16.10) who bailed out an otherwise average offensive turnout. Next week Sobchak Security (3-4) will play PorNada (3-4) while Mad Max’s Mama (3-4) will play Guns of the Navarone (5-2).
** PorNada DEF Boss Hogg by 10.37 points **
PorNada continues to ride the Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 28.50) express which with a surprisingly strong game from Quintin Mikell (S – StL / 19.00) allowed him to overcome an extremely powerful two hand touch running back squad. two hand touch’s DeMarco Murray (RB – Dal / 31.15) and Montano Hardesty (RB – Cle / 24.10) while being very impressive, could not overcome the lackluster performance from the rest of his team. Next week PorNada (3-4) will play Sobchak Security (3-4) while Boss Hogg (3-4) will play browns backups (7-0).
** RN to the Rescue DEF Pack-Men by 15.40 points **
Holy Moly! RN to the Rescue certainly benefited from the violation of the Geneva Convention that was the Saints-Colts game this week. Drew Brees (QB – NO / 39.60) provided her a solid 33% of her total points this game! Pack-Men’s continue faith in Dallas Clark (TE – Ind / 0.00) along with a meltdown from Tennessee (Def – Ten / -1.28) led to his demise this matchup. Next week RN to the Rescue (4-3) will play The Little Guy (4-3) while Pack-Men (3-4) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-6).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF The Little Guy by 33.75 points **
This seems to be the year of the kicker with GotN’s Shaun Suisham (K – Pit / 20.00) and The Little Guy’s Neil Rackers (K – Hou / 15.50) amongst the top point leaders in this matchup. GotN’s Colt McCoy (QB – Cle / 9.11) was gimped up and produced his lowest numbers of the year while The Little Guy’s Matthew Stafford (QB – Det / 11.16) shared the same fate. Next week Guns of the Navarone (5-2) will play Mad Max’s Mama (3-4) while The Little Guy (4-3) will play RN to the Rescue (4-3).
** browns backups DEF Sex Panther by 39.00 points **
So umm Sex Panther…about that Curtis Painter (QB – Ind / -0.21) you have. This was another matchup that would be settled early with browns backup continued dominance over every team in the league. Where to start? Well with 9 out of 12 players in double-digits I suppose we can just look at a few of his leaders. Matt Schaub (QB – Hou / 19.72) along with Michael Turner (RB – Atl / 19.60) pushed the browns backups pain train to another victory. Next week browns backups (7-0) will play Boss Hogg (3-4) while Sex Panther (3-4) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-4).
** Wildcats Rule DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 40.99 points **
Despite a terrible game from Matt Cassel (QB – KC / 1.62) Wildcats Rule had excellent games from James Anderson (LB – Car / 21.00) and Plaxico Burress (WR – NYJ / 20.25) and pulled out a needed win. GrNeGgSnHaM’s wide receivers, Nate Washington (WR – Ten / 0.75) and Mike Thomas (WR – Jac / 1.39) decided to take the week off much to his detriment. Next week Wildcats Rule (3-4) will play two hand touch (4-3) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-6) will play Pack-Men (3-4).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** two hand touch DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 46.77 points **
If Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 43.45) got hit by a car would anyone care? two hand touch would! Not that it would matter in this matchup as Ron Paul 4 Lyfe’s wide receiver squad, Percy Harvin (WR – Min / 3.75) and Larry Fitzgerald (WR – Ari / 6.40) continued to be losers and therefore probably liberals. Aside from Foster two hand touch had an awesome game from Matt Forte (RB – Chi / 28.15) who continued to prove to the Bears that they don’t deserve him. Next week two hand touch (4-3) plays Wildcats Rule (3-4) while Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-4) plays Sex Panther (3-4).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to number #2 offensive ranked Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 43.45). Blessed with the downfall of Texan Andre Johnson, Foster has blown up to be one of the biggest fantasy players in the league. Another great example of a free-market society, if your coworker comes down with the flu make sure to crush him or her and become the new “go to” guy or girl and make sure when they come back that they do nothing but clean toilets…or something.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** Sobchak Security DEF Mad Max’s Mama by 10.32 points **
Things looked promising for Mad Max’s Mama with Ben Roethlisberger (QB – Pit / 28.72) pulling a strong game but things turned sour when both of her wide recievers, Hines Ward (WR – Pit / 1.80) and Nate Burleson (WR – Det / 1.80), failed to be productive. Sobchak Security saw great games from Adrian Peterson (RB – Min / 27.00) and Shonn Greene (RB – NYJ / 16.10) who bailed out an otherwise average offensive turnout. Next week Sobchak Security (3-4) will play PorNada (3-4) while Mad Max’s Mama (3-4) will play Guns of the Navarone (5-2).
** PorNada DEF Boss Hogg by 10.37 points **
PorNada continues to ride the Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 28.50) express which with a surprisingly strong game from Quintin Mikell (S – StL / 19.00) allowed him to overcome an extremely powerful two hand touch running back squad. two hand touch’s DeMarco Murray (RB – Dal / 31.15) and Montano Hardesty (RB – Cle / 24.10) while being very impressive, could not overcome the lackluster performance from the rest of his team. Next week PorNada (3-4) will play Sobchak Security (3-4) while Boss Hogg (3-4) will play browns backups (7-0).
** RN to the Rescue DEF Pack-Men by 15.40 points **
Holy Moly! RN to the Rescue certainly benefited from the violation of the Geneva Convention that was the Saints-Colts game this week. Drew Brees (QB – NO / 39.60) provided her a solid 33% of her total points this game! Pack-Men’s continue faith in Dallas Clark (TE – Ind / 0.00) along with a meltdown from Tennessee (Def – Ten / -1.28) led to his demise this matchup. Next week RN to the Rescue (4-3) will play The Little Guy (4-3) while Pack-Men (3-4) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-6).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF The Little Guy by 33.75 points **
This seems to be the year of the kicker with GotN’s Shaun Suisham (K – Pit / 20.00) and The Little Guy’s Neil Rackers (K – Hou / 15.50) amongst the top point leaders in this matchup. GotN’s Colt McCoy (QB – Cle / 9.11) was gimped up and produced his lowest numbers of the year while The Little Guy’s Matthew Stafford (QB – Det / 11.16) shared the same fate. Next week Guns of the Navarone (5-2) will play Mad Max’s Mama (3-4) while The Little Guy (4-3) will play RN to the Rescue (4-3).
** browns backups DEF Sex Panther by 39.00 points **
So umm Sex Panther…about that Curtis Painter (QB – Ind / -0.21) you have. This was another matchup that would be settled early with browns backup continued dominance over every team in the league. Where to start? Well with 9 out of 12 players in double-digits I suppose we can just look at a few of his leaders. Matt Schaub (QB – Hou / 19.72) along with Michael Turner (RB – Atl / 19.60) pushed the browns backups pain train to another victory. Next week browns backups (7-0) will play Boss Hogg (3-4) while Sex Panther (3-4) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-4).
** Wildcats Rule DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 40.99 points **
Despite a terrible game from Matt Cassel (QB – KC / 1.62) Wildcats Rule had excellent games from James Anderson (LB – Car / 21.00) and Plaxico Burress (WR – NYJ / 20.25) and pulled out a needed win. GrNeGgSnHaM’s wide receivers, Nate Washington (WR – Ten / 0.75) and Mike Thomas (WR – Jac / 1.39) decided to take the week off much to his detriment. Next week Wildcats Rule (3-4) will play two hand touch (4-3) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-6) will play Pack-Men (3-4).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** two hand touch DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 46.77 points **
If Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 43.45) got hit by a car would anyone care? two hand touch would! Not that it would matter in this matchup as Ron Paul 4 Lyfe’s wide receiver squad, Percy Harvin (WR – Min / 3.75) and Larry Fitzgerald (WR – Ari / 6.40) continued to be losers and therefore probably liberals. Aside from Foster two hand touch had an awesome game from Matt Forte (RB – Chi / 28.15) who continued to prove to the Bears that they don’t deserve him. Next week two hand touch (4-3) plays Wildcats Rule (3-4) while Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-4) plays Sex Panther (3-4).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to number #2 offensive ranked Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 43.45). Blessed with the downfall of Texan Andre Johnson, Foster has blown up to be one of the biggest fantasy players in the league. Another great example of a free-market society, if your coworker comes down with the flu make sure to crush him or her and become the new “go to” guy or girl and make sure when they come back that they do nothing but clean toilets…or something.
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