BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** Favre Failure Wagon (Steve) DEF RN to the Rescue (Megan) by 6.36 points **
It’s becoming pretty clear that RN’s Percy Harvin (WR – Min / 3.73) is not going to be the fantasy juggernaut that he was last year. It’s not RN’s fault that Brett Favre is struggling so much, but it is what it is. The Dolphins (23.74) tried to keep her in it, but the surgical Peyton Manning (QB – Ind / 31.64) provided all that FFW needed to take the week. Next week FFW (2-0) plays Boycott LA (1-1) and RN plays her sister, MMM (2-0).
** Two-Hand Touch (Rex) DEF Pack-Men (Brett) by 11.04 points **
Two-Hand Touch was the only team that reversed a week 1 loss into a week 2 win this week, thanks to Matt Ryan (QB – Atl / 30.98) and the Steelers Defense (32.96). Pack-Men had a good showing as well, with Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 33.54) and even Neil Rackers (K – Hou / 19.00) showing up. Like Kyle, Brett would have beaten most other teams this week but he had the misfortune of playing THT. Next week THT (1-1) plays Sobchak Security (2-0) and Pack-Men (0-2) looks to stop the skid against Sexual Chocolate (0-2)
** Sobchak Security (Rick) DEF Boycott LA (Matt) by 15.62 points **
Boycott LA got their re-naming privileges revoked this week because they used forbidden words on the league message board. Evidently Hines Ward (WR – Pit / 0.70) and Stephen Gostkowski (K – NE / 0.00) were offended as well, because they negated the game from Antonio Gates (TE – SD / 16.10). Sobchak and his band of anarcho-syndicalists had pretty even showings from most of his roster. Next week SS (2-0) will play Two-Hand Touch (1-1) and BLA (1-1) will go against Favre Failure Wagon (2-0)
** Brown’s Backups (Josh) DEF Sexual Chocolate (John) by 22.51 points **
The loathsome Jay Cutler (QB – Chi / 33.81) had an interception-free game for BB to help lead them over SC, who was hampered by uncharacteristically bad games from Chris Johnson (RB – Ten / 9.90). Not helping matters was Matt Hasselbeck (QB – Sea / 20.21), who had the audacity to throw in Champ Bailey’s direction. HERESY! Next week BB (2-0) takes on Undefeated (2-0) and SC (0-2) plays a winless-but-surging Pack-Men (0-2).
** Mad Max’s Mama (Kerri) DEF The Little Guy (Kyle) by 27.56 points **
For the second consecutive week, Kerri’s team laid the hammer down on their opponent. Leading the way was newcomer Jahvid Best (RB – Det / 40.35), who bolstered a pretty consistent offense. In a similar fashion to last season, Kyle had a big week against the worst possible opponent – with huge games from Matt Schaub (QB – 40.30 / 40.30) and Adrian Peterson (RB – Min / 30.55), he would have won against nearly anybody else. But ultimately Kyle’s team fell short where Kerri’ s succeeded. Next week MMM (2-0) takes on her dear sister RN to the Rescue (0-2) and TLG (0-2) will battle Boss Hogg (0-2)
** Play to Win the Game (Jeff) DEF Boss Hogg (Jordan) by 30.26 points **
It’s pretty clear that although his skill is unquestionable, BH’s Tom Brady (QB – NE / 18.09) is not the same Quarterback he was before his knee injury. Two picks and a lost fumble helped to doom BH this week against a generally unremarkable PTW. Steve Breaston (WR – Ari / 1.25) didn’t help matters during the Cardinals’ beatdown from the Dirty Birds. PTW did get a superb game from Jeff Reed (K – Pit / 19.00), who is a big asset considering Pittsburgh can’t finish a drive. Next week PTW (2-0) plays G-Unit (0-2) and BH (0-2) looks to reverse fortunes against perennial early-season punching bag The Little Guy (0-2)
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Undefeated (Bob) DEF G… Unit (Sam) by 39.78 points **
Unknown is what UD plans to do next week with Michael Vick (QB – Phi / 30.71) on the sideline. Also unknown is why he’s got Tim Tebow (QB – Den / 0.00) on his bench. Is there something he knows about Kyle Orton’s health that we don’t? Only time will tell. ALSO UNKOWN: why Sam wants me to go crazy trying to type her team’s name each week. GEH was hampered by minicamp no-show Brett Favre (QB – Min / 3.93) and Brandon Marshall (WR – Mia / 4.55) who had at least one great catch that I saw, but no TDs. Next week UD (2-0) plays Brown’s Backups (2-0) and GEH (0-2) plays Play to Win the Game (2-0).
** Superstars of the Week **
1. Jahvid Best (RB – Det – Mad Max’s Mama) 40.35 pts
2. Matt Schaub (QB – Hou – The Little Guy) 40.30 pts
3. Jay Cutler (QB – Chi – Brown’s Backups) 33.81 pts
4. Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB – Pack-Men) 33.54 pts
5. LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi – Sobchak Security / DNS) 33.40 pts
** AKOTW Standings **
1. Undefeated (1-0) - Week 2 +39.78 vs GrNeGgSnHaM
1. Mad Max’s Mama (1-0) - Week 1 +24.05 vs GrNeGgSnHaM
