Are you feeling down? Do you need that pick-me-up after a depressing day? Well there’s a team for you! Join the Washington Redskins Fanclub today! Enjoy dropped balls, Grossman bombs, and the feeling of despair as your team loses to only field goals! In other news, another week and we’re down to two undefeated teams, Guns of the Navarone and browns backups, will anyone take these juggernauts down???
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** browns backups DEF Wildcats Rule by 8.60 points **
With a combined 13 double-digit earners between these two teams it was a slugfest until the end. Wildcats Rule came out with strong performances from Joseph Addai (RB – Ind / 19.15) and Tom Brady (QB – NE / 27.49) while browns backups took the lead with Baltimore (DEF – Bal / 23.30) and Matt Schaub (QB – Hou / 25.66). Next week, in an exciting undefeated showdown, browns backups (3-0) will face Guns of the Navarone (3-0) while Wildcats Rule (1-2) with play Pack-Men (1-2).
** Boss Hogg DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 16.73 points **
GrNeGgSnHaM might need an injury cart much like some of his key players after a beat down from Boss Hogg this last weekend. GrNeGgSnHaM could not have forseen Kenny Brit (WR – Ten / -0.35) blowing his ACL/MCL during the game but kept it reasonably close with a strong showing from Rob Gronkowski (TE – NE / 20.70). Boss Hogg came out the better with nice games from Tim Hightower (RB – Was / 18.25) and Jason Pierre-Paul (DE – NYG / 18.50). Next week Boss Hogg (1-2) will play two hand touch (1-2) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-2) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (2-1).
** Mad Max’s Mama DEF Pack-Men by 21.13 points **
Ruh-roh! Pack-Men might have some serious drafting to do after very anemic performances from DeSean Jackson (WR – Phi / 4.41), Reggie Wayne (WR – Ind / 1.95), and Beanie Wells (RB – Ari / 0.00) failed to pull him ahead of Mad Max’s Mama’s Wes Welker (WR – NE / 28.30), Ahmad Bradshaw (RB – NYG / 21.70) destructive duo. Next week Mad Max’s Mama (2-1) will play RN to the Rescue (1-2) while Pack-Men (1-2) will play Wildcats Rule (1-2).
** Sex Panther DEF Sobchak Security by 24.19 points **
This must have been one of Sex Panthers “40% of the time I sometimes win” games as he pulled himself out of the slump with a much needed win against Sobchak Security. Helping Sex Panther’s cause was Lance Briggs (LB – Chi / 26.00) and Shaun Suisham (K – Pit / 18.00). Sobchak Security tried to offset his bipolar quarterback's, Philip Rivers (QB – SD / 5.12), bad game with a strong showing from Adrian Peterson (RB – Min / 20.35) to no avail. Next week Sex Panther (1-2) will play Pornada (0-3) while Sobchak Security (2-1) will play The Little Guy (2-1).
** Ron Paul 4 Lyfe DEF PorNada by 47.57 points **
This week all of the planets aligned in Ron Paul 4 Lyfe’s favor with a personal all-time best of 185.96 points against PorNada, who despite a strong game, was left destroyed in the path of the juggernaut. PorNada fought hard with excellent games from Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 25.39) and Daniel Thomas (RB – Mia / 25.85) but Deion Branch (WR – NE / 0.00) felt the ill effects of a Wes Welker (WR – NE / 28.30) dominated game. Ron Paul 4 Lyfe’s gamble on unsure running backs paid off with a very strong game from Ryan Matthews (RB – SD / 32.45) while Jermichael Finley (TE – GB / 24.00) had a very nice 3 touchdown day. Next week Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (2-1) will play GgNeGgSnHaM (1-2) while PorNada (0-3) will try to break his losing streak against Sex Panther (1-2).
** The Little Guy DEF two hand touch by 60.87 points **
In a scene reminiscent of a Troma snuff film The Little Guy watched in glee as two hand touch had a total meltdown, only scoring a team total of 62.02 points. With only two players breaking 10.00 points, Matt Ryan (QB – Atl / 10.30) and Matt Forte (RB – Chi / 10.35), this matchup was over before it even started. The Little Guy’s Darren McFadden (RB – Oak / 31.15) and Matthew Stafford (QB – Det / 23.21) sealed the deal. Next week The Little Guy (2-1) will play Sobchak Security (2-1) while two hand touch (1-2) will play Boss Hogg (1-2).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Guns of the Navarone DEF RN to the Rescue by 70.99 points **
Much like kicking puppies Guns of the Navarone also enjoyed handing RN to the Rescue another AKOTW. Where is the mercy Jeff??? Guns of the Navarone had an exceptional team with a combined total of 188.64 points. Leading the 20+ point club was Mark Sanchez (QB – NYJ / 27.18), LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 25.80), Maurice Jones-Drew (RB – Jac / 21.10), and Ray Lewis (LB – Bal / 23.00). RN to the Rescue’s Drew Brees (QB – NO / 30.45) was unable to offset her terrible WR corp. Next week Guns of the Navarone (3-0) will play browns backups (3-0) while RN to the Rescue (1-2) will play Mad Max’s Mama (2-1)
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to future Hall of Fame stud Ryan Matthews (RB – SD / 32.45). Fighting over the key Chargers running back position with Mike Tolbert (RB – SD / 4.90) Matthews is showing his grit and determination to become a San Diego superstar. See kids, this is much like how an unregulated, free market economy works. Competition! Competition is key and don’t let those snooty, Harvard-educated economists tell you otherwise!
