Another week in the NFL and the “suck for Luck” campaign is in full throttle. Who will it be? Will the Dolphins continue to burn through quarterbacks like kindling or perhaps the Colts truly are a terrible team without Manning? Or maybe perennial losers like the Rams or the Cardinals will show the world how to be a proper terrible team? As for the league there were few shakeups. browns backups continues to pave his way to an undefeated season while Guns of the Navarone continues to rule the American league…so boring *yawn*.
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** Sobchak Security DEF Mad Max’s Mama by 10.32 points **
Things looked promising for Mad Max’s Mama with Ben Roethlisberger (QB – Pit / 28.72) pulling a strong game but things turned sour when both of her wide recievers, Hines Ward (WR – Pit / 1.80) and Nate Burleson (WR – Det / 1.80), failed to be productive. Sobchak Security saw great games from Adrian Peterson (RB – Min / 27.00) and Shonn Greene (RB – NYJ / 16.10) who bailed out an otherwise average offensive turnout. Next week Sobchak Security (3-4) will play PorNada (3-4) while Mad Max’s Mama (3-4) will play Guns of the Navarone (5-2).
** PorNada DEF Boss Hogg by 10.37 points **
PorNada continues to ride the Aaron Rodgers (QB – GB / 28.50) express which with a surprisingly strong game from Quintin Mikell (S – StL / 19.00) allowed him to overcome an extremely powerful two hand touch running back squad. two hand touch’s DeMarco Murray (RB – Dal / 31.15) and Montano Hardesty (RB – Cle / 24.10) while being very impressive, could not overcome the lackluster performance from the rest of his team. Next week PorNada (3-4) will play Sobchak Security (3-4) while Boss Hogg (3-4) will play browns backups (7-0).
** RN to the Rescue DEF Pack-Men by 15.40 points **
Holy Moly! RN to the Rescue certainly benefited from the violation of the Geneva Convention that was the Saints-Colts game this week. Drew Brees (QB – NO / 39.60) provided her a solid 33% of her total points this game! Pack-Men’s continue faith in Dallas Clark (TE – Ind / 0.00) along with a meltdown from Tennessee (Def – Ten / -1.28) led to his demise this matchup. Next week RN to the Rescue (4-3) will play The Little Guy (4-3) while Pack-Men (3-4) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-6).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF The Little Guy by 33.75 points **
This seems to be the year of the kicker with GotN’s Shaun Suisham (K – Pit / 20.00) and The Little Guy’s Neil Rackers (K – Hou / 15.50) amongst the top point leaders in this matchup. GotN’s Colt McCoy (QB – Cle / 9.11) was gimped up and produced his lowest numbers of the year while The Little Guy’s Matthew Stafford (QB – Det / 11.16) shared the same fate. Next week Guns of the Navarone (5-2) will play Mad Max’s Mama (3-4) while The Little Guy (4-3) will play RN to the Rescue (4-3).
** browns backups DEF Sex Panther by 39.00 points **
So umm Sex Panther…about that Curtis Painter (QB – Ind / -0.21) you have. This was another matchup that would be settled early with browns backup continued dominance over every team in the league. Where to start? Well with 9 out of 12 players in double-digits I suppose we can just look at a few of his leaders. Matt Schaub (QB – Hou / 19.72) along with Michael Turner (RB – Atl / 19.60) pushed the browns backups pain train to another victory. Next week browns backups (7-0) will play Boss Hogg (3-4) while Sex Panther (3-4) will play Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-4).
** Wildcats Rule DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 40.99 points **
Despite a terrible game from Matt Cassel (QB – KC / 1.62) Wildcats Rule had excellent games from James Anderson (LB – Car / 21.00) and Plaxico Burress (WR – NYJ / 20.25) and pulled out a needed win. GrNeGgSnHaM’s wide receivers, Nate Washington (WR – Ten / 0.75) and Mike Thomas (WR – Jac / 1.39) decided to take the week off much to his detriment. Next week Wildcats Rule (3-4) will play two hand touch (4-3) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-6) will play Pack-Men (3-4).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** two hand touch DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 46.77 points **
If Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 43.45) got hit by a car would anyone care? two hand touch would! Not that it would matter in this matchup as Ron Paul 4 Lyfe’s wide receiver squad, Percy Harvin (WR – Min / 3.75) and Larry Fitzgerald (WR – Ari / 6.40) continued to be losers and therefore probably liberals. Aside from Foster two hand touch had an awesome game from Matt Forte (RB – Chi / 28.15) who continued to prove to the Bears that they don’t deserve him. Next week two hand touch (4-3) plays Wildcats Rule (3-4) while Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-4) plays Sex Panther (3-4).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to number #2 offensive ranked Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 43.45). Blessed with the downfall of Texan Andre Johnson, Foster has blown up to be one of the biggest fantasy players in the league. Another great example of a free-market society, if your coworker comes down with the flu make sure to crush him or her and become the new “go to” guy or girl and make sure when they come back that they do nothing but clean toilets…or something.
