The King is dead. Long live the King! browns backups was finally delivered a loss this week, thus ending the last undefeated team. Who will snatch victory from the face of defeat in the end? Will it be a perennial winner or will it be the lovable loser? Only time will tell!
BARN-BURNER OF THE WEEK:
** The Little Guy DEF RN to the Rescue by 18.83 points **
The Little Guy landed the 1-2 punch to RN to the Rescue with stunning games from Cam Newton (QB – Car / 27.65) and Detroit (DEF – Det / 33.60) which would overcome his ailing WR squad this week. RN to the Rescue, although having points earners through her entire team did not have any strikeout performances and had top points earners in Arizona (Def – Ari / 18.56) and Marshawn Lynch (RB – Sea / 13.20). Next week The Little Guy (5-3) plays Mad Max’s Mama (3-5) while RN to the Rescue (4-4) plays PorNada (3-5).
** Pack-Men DEF GrNeGgSnHaM by 19.85 points **
Pulling a necessary victory Pack-Men’s Michael Vick (QB – Phi / 25.68) and Tennessee (Def – Ten / 23.78) overcame his opponent in a convincing fashion. GrNeGgSnHaM still struggles to find that elusive second win even with great games from Ray Rice (RB – Bal / 33.70) and Nick Novak (K – SD / 21.00). Next week Pack-Men (4-4) will play Boss Hogg (4-4) while GrNeGgSnHaM (1-7) will play Guns of the Navarone (6-2).
** Boss Hogg DEF browns backups by 20.83 points **
In an uncharacteristic low scoring game from browns backups Boss Hogg finally takes the undefeated giant down. Boss Hogg has only his defensive game to thank with London Fletcher (LB – Was / 30.00), Derrick Johnson (LB – KC / 24.04), and Reggie Nelson (S – Cin / 21.50) piling on the points. browns backups sputtered with poor performances from Sean Lee (LB – Dal / 0.00) and Steve Breaston (WR – KC / 2.85). Next week Boss Hogg (4-4) will play Pack-Men (4-4) while browns backups (7-1) will play garbage fire Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-5).
** Wildcats Rule DEF two hand touch by 32.05 points **
Over and over I prattle on about consistency but Wildcats Rule’s win relied on it once again. With 9 players producing double digit scores Wildcats Rule’s top earners, Steven Jackson (RB – StL / 35.05) and Scott Chandler (TE – Buf / 14.25) led his team to victory. Unfortunately for two hand touch Arian Foster (RB – Hou / 30.45) could not offset an otherwise “meh” defensive showing. Next week Wildcats Rule (4-4) will play Sobchak Security (4-4) while two hand touch (4-4) will play Sex Panther (4-4).
** Sobchak Security DEF PorNada by 39.10 points **
Soooo PorNada…..you might want to start a QB next week, might be a little productive. Minus a QB PorNada practically gave away the game with an addition poor performance from Brandon Jacobs (RB – NYG / 2.75). Too bad considering the strong game from Cincinnati (Def – Cin / 32.98). Sobchak Security answered quickly with Buffalo (Def – Buf / 28.44) and Tim Tebow (QB – Den / 15.39) throwing dirt onto the grave. Next week Sobchak Security (4-4) will play Wildcats Rule (4-4) while PorNada (3-5) will play RN to the Rescue (4-4).
** Guns of the Navarone DEF Mad Max’s Mama by 42.01 points **
In a battle of the spouses GotN would reign supreme in this most domestic dispute. Despite strong performance from both team’s QBs, Eli Manning (QB – NYG / 23.93) and Ben Roethlisberger (QB – Pit / 21.95), it would be Maurice Jones *hyphenated* Drew (RB – Jac / 18.95) that would bring the crushing blow. Next week Guns of the Navarone (6-2) will play GrNeGgSnHaM (1-7) while Mad Max’s Mama (3-5) will play The Little Guy (5-3).
ASS-KICKING OF THE WEEK:
** Sex Panther DEF Ron Paul 4 Lyfe by 56.24 points **
In a scene reminiscent of The Human Centipede Sex Panther would have been “Subject A” while RP4L would certainly have been “Subject C”, eat that shit Steve, eat it good. Every one of Sex Panther’s defensive players would yield double-digit scores but LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 37.50) would provide that punishing blow to Steve’s ego. RP4L had *surprising* shit-tacular days from Demaryius Thomas (WR – Den / 0.75) and Dan Bailey (K – Dal / 1.00). Next week Sex Panther (4-4) will play two hand touch (4-4) while Ron Paul 4 Lyfe (3-5) will play browns backups (7-1).
RON PAUL’S GOLD STANDARD MVP OF THE WEEK:
This week’s RPGSMVPOTW goes to LeSean McCoy (RB – Phi / 37.50) who has had 58 carries in his last two games. Producing at minimum 14.60 points per game this season and really showing how a man can “bootstrap” his way up to elite status. Next week he faces Chicago….my condolences Urlacher.
